Monster
by lao1993
Summary: Ever since the age of 13, Kathryn's whole world has revolved around Jackson Teller. She watched him go from a simple prospect to obtaining the role of Vice President of the notorious Charming gang. She gave him nothing but love and happiness but as Jax takes over as president, she starts to see the man she once knew so well turn into someone that resembled the devil himself.
1. Chapter 1

When I was a little girl, I always thought my life was going to end up like a Disney Princess movie. I was gonna find that one guy that would slip me off my feet and take me off far far away and we would live happily ever after. Those fucking movies should come with a warning label.

When I was 13 years old, I met the guy that I knew I was going to marry. He was three years older than me and walked around like he was God's gift to women but I instantly knew he was the guy for me. Even though I wasn't really his type since I knew how to keep my clothes on, the more time we spent together showed that we were perfect for one another. He was the bad boy that my parents forbidden me to see and I was the good girl who was a member of the honor society and the president of the debate club. We were complete opposites but that's how we kept things interesting. As time went on, our feelings got deeper and life got a bit more complicated. Since I was younger than Jax and looking forward to getting out of Charming, I was accepted to the University of Washington and planned to attend in the fall. My parents were ecstatic that I was getting out of town but the person I cared about most was less than happy. We fought about it the whole summer and when the time came for me to confirm enrollment, I declined and decided to stay in Charming. My parents were disappointed in me. My family was disappointed in me. And I was disappointed in myself for staying because my love for Jackson Teller got in the way. He promised me that I was making the right decision and that everything was going to be taken care of. Like a typical lovesick teenage girl I believed every word he said.

Jax was working at his family's auto body shop and also a member of the Sons of Anarchy so it wasn't like we were on our own. All the guys and their old ladies were more than happy to help out whenever we needed something and Gemma was always there whenever I needed her. As time went on and people came and went, the SAMCRO men became more dangerous. Jax became the vice president and that meant he was second in command next to Clay. He would go off on runs and I wouldn't know whether or not he was gonna come back on his motorcycle or in a body bag. The shit really hit the fan when I found out I was pregnant. The guys were getting involved in some bad stuff that I wasn't supposed to know about. Everyone knew what was going on except me. The hang-arounds knew, the croweaters knew, the rest of the old ladies knew, but I was the only one out of the loop. I would ask Jax to just tell me something but he would fight me tooth and nail, telling me that it was nothing that I needed to worry about. If it wasn't something for me to worry about then why did I have some prospect on my tail everywhere I went. All I wanted was to bring my daughter up in an environment that was loving, caring and most of all safe. She didn't deserve to be surrounded by people that could hurt in her in the long run. The thing that I didn't realize then was that these dangerous people were my family. From the time I was a teenager, these people were the ones that accepted me into their lives. Everyone knew that these men didn't trust easily and wouldn't accept just anyone into their group. I didn't have anyone else besides Jax and they were the ones I could count of the most. They were there when things were going good and they were there when things were going all to hell. These men were there when I gave birth to Gracelynn 10 weeks early. These men were there when her little heart needed to be repaired. These men watched her grow stronger and stronger everyday inside the incubator. These men were there when Jax and I were finally able to bring her home. These guys were there for every birthday party that Gracelynn got to celebrate. These men were there for everything and I was truly thankful for that.

As I watched my daughter grow up in front of me, I also watched my husband fall apart. He gained the top position of becoming president after he found out what really happened to his father and things just began to get worse. He wasn't the Jax that I had fallen in love with anymore. This new Jax was ruthless, sinister, and almost evil. His once blue eyes were almost dull now and all the life that he had before just exited his body. It was almost as if I was sharing my bed with another man. He didn't have time to waste with Grace and I anymore. It was all about the club and the croweaters that inhabited the clubhouse. The warnings that people had given me all those years ago were starting to make sense as I saw my life falling apart. I went from being married to the man of my dreams to the devil himself….

**A/N: So I already have one SOA in progress but the idea for this story kept buzzing around in my head and I had to post it. As you noticed this story is an AU story but there will be elements that Kurt Sutter created. I do not own anything related to the workings of Mr. Sutter. I switched up the story a bit since it is an AU work of fiction. Instead of Kathryn giving birth to Abel, I decided to change it up and have her give birth to a baby girl instead. The direction I want to go with the story will make Jax having a little girl more complicated. Tara will not be apart of this story. She's an awesome character but her role just doesn't go go with the story. I hope you all enjoyed the little background information that the first chapter has provided. I just wanted to give you all an inside look on how Kathryn's life has been seeing as she's Jax Teller's old lady. Please remember to review, follow, or favorite! **

**P.S. I also have a link to the pictures of the characters on my profile if you want to see how I imagined Kathryn and Gracelynn. I may add ****miscellaneous pictures as well to show different people or places depicted in the story. **


	2. Chapter 2

It was a typical Tuesday morning at the Teller household.

I had a toddler attached at the hip, breakfast cooking on the stove, a dog barking at the neighbors cat, and a husband who was missing. After the first couple times of being worried and frantically calling everyone I knew, I had finally come to the conclusion that when he was ready to come home then he would be home. I guess one of the skanks down at the clubhouse fulfilled his nights more than I could. I was trying to convince myself that Jax wasn't going to resort back to his old ways but I knew that wasn't true. When he didn't come home, I would tell myself that he was just too tired to ride all the way home and that he just fell asleep in his dorm room. I didn't want to think about some whore laying against him or what he could be doing at 3:00 in the morning. I'm not gonna stand here and say that I didn't care what Jax was doing because that would be a lie. I cared greatly what he was doing and who he was doing it with. It's hard to tell your three year old that daddy didn't come home for the second night in a row and that he might be home later on. It's hard to watch her wait by the window or stop everything she's doing just to wait for her daddy to get home. Jax was always there when Gracelynn was younger. He would get up in the middle of the night and rock her back to sleep. He would volunteer to change her diaper even when I knew he didn't want to. He would even stop everything he's doing just so he could play with her. In my opinion, he was the greatest dad ever but that title got taken away when he started being an ass and not showing up.

"Mommy, is breakfast ready yet?" Grace asked as she placed her little head on my shoulder. I flipped the pancake over once more and removed the pan from the burner. "It sure is baby. The pancake man must have heard your question." I smiled as I set her down on the counter. I handed her the little Minnie Mouse plate that Gemma had bought her and started plateing her food. "Do you want Mrs. Buttersworth or actual butter?" I asked as i dug through the refrigerator for the preferred items. "Both!" She exclaimed happily. I giggled as I placed the items on the counter and placed my three year old back on the ground. "Let's go sit at the table and mommy will help you get situated, okay?" She nodded her head and made her way over to the table. I set her plate down and helped her into her booster seat. "Now, here's the really hard question." I leaned forward, "do you want apple or grape juice?" She looked away as if she was thinking hard about the choices but I already knew what she was going to choose; I am her mother after all. "Apple!" She smiled. I grinned as I walked over to the juice and poured some in a glass. I rushed the glass back to the table and then went back to start fixing myself some breakfast.

With the TV blaring from the living room and the sound of Boris barking in the back yard, I didn't even hear Jax enter the backdoor. "Daddy!" Gracelynn exclaimed as she jumped down from her seat. I didn't bother turning around because I already knew that I would get sucked back up into the Jax tornado. "Hey darlin, how's my baby girl?" He asked. He placed a kiss on her forehead and walked her back over to the table. "I see mommy made her world famous pancakes." He noted as placed her in his lap so she could continue eating her breakfast. "Do you think mommy has anymore for me to eat?" Grace just shrugged her little shoulders. "You can have some of mine, daddy." She told him, picking up a piece and giving it to him. "That's all you can have though because the rest is mine." He let out a hardly laugh as he chewed the small piece of food. I continued to listen to them as Jax teased her about stealing the rest of the pancakes. To Gracelynn, Jax was the greatest person in her world. When he decided to grace up with his presence, that little girl never left his side. He would have to pry himself away from her just he could use the bathroom. She was the perfect example of a daddy's girl and I have to admit that I was a bit jealous. I was the one who got up in the middle of night to check and see if there were any monsters lurking in the closet or under the bed. I took care of her when she was sick and had a high fever. I took her to the park and museums to help her learn since Jax didn't want her in any kind of day care facility. I was also there to comfort her when she would finally realize that he wasn't coming home that day. I was always there for my daughter but for some reason her father was everything. I couldn't exactly blame her for that because he was my everything as well.

"Grace, baby, why don't you go finish your breakfast in the living room - I have to talk to mommy about something." Jax suggested, helping Grace with her plate and cup of juice. I heard Jax ask her a couple questions about what she wanted to watch and if she had everything she needed. I must have zoned out or something because I didn't even realize that Jax had made his way back into the kitchen until his arms trapped my body between the counter and his body. "What's your problem, Kate?" His husky voice whispered in my ear, sending shivers down the course of my body. I was trying my best to remain stable and continue eating my breakfast but the way his lips were working their way onto my neck wasn't helping. "Where were you last night?" I asked. His arms stiffened at my side but his lips still didn't stop. I already knew what he was trying to do, it's what he always does when I ask him that question. He would distract me with his lips instead of telling me where he was or what he was doing.

I pushed myself off the counter and turned around so I could look his face to face. Now that I was standing right in front of him, I could see the faint marks that someone had left on his neck the night before. Hurt, anger and jealousy ran through my body but there was no way I could express any of that. Rule one of being an old lady is that you stand by your man no matter what. If he cheats or hits you, you take one for the team and just let it roll off your back. Since Jax was now the president, he was entitled to do whatever the hell he wanted. He was basically the king now and I was the queen that needed to be the perfect wife that let things just slide by. I still remember the day I married Jax, Gemma pulled me to the side and told me that I was to treat her son like a god. I was to be there whenever he needed me. I was to keep a clean and warm home. I was to abide by all the rules of not only Jax but also the club. I needed to be there for him sexually and compassionately. The last thing she told me was that I needed to be the type of wife that is seen and not heard when it comes to club business. I of course didn't take any of those rules seriously and I remained the same type of girl that i've always been. I'd like to see Gemma live by those rules since she was the one dishing them out. If she was to ever find out that Clay cheated on her while he wasn't on a run, would she be able to keep her mouth shut about the whole thing? Yeah, probably not! Just because I was marrying someone that was considered SAMCRO royalty didn't mean that I needed to become a fucking stepford wife. After the arguing seemed to be getting worse, I just stopped questioning things and kept my mind on my daughter. I didn't need to be bothered with it anyway.

"What's the matter?" He asked, knocking me out of my staring contest with the purple marks that adorned his neck. I just shook my head, "Nothing." I said with a small smile. "I have to finish cleaning up." I tried to remove myself from his grasp but he wasn't having any of that. Just by the stupid smirk on his face, I knew that I wasn't going to be cleaning up anytime soon. "Jax, we can't; what if Grace walks in or something?" I asked as he delfed deeper and latched his lips onto my collar bone. I tried my best to keep the moans held in so that Grace would have to hear what was happening just a couple feet from her. My fingers threaded through his slicked back, blonde hair as he lifted me up and placed me on the counter. As soon as those lips reached mine, I was already too far gone. The image of those bite marks went flying out the window and the only thing that mattered was Jax's lips on mine. I felt his hands start moving my shirt up and that was the moment I realized that this needed to stop. Whatever we started here, we could finish up in the bedroom later on tonight, but I doubt he'll even be here.

"Jax, stop." I breathed out, trying my best to push him away from me. He looked up at me with those blue eyes, which I could see were getting darker with anger. "What's the problem, Kate?" He asked harshly as I jumped down from the counter. I pushed my way past him and checked to see how Grace was doing. Luckily, she didn't hear any of the noises coming from the kitchen and was still watching cartoons. What was I thinking! I was seconds away from having sex with my husband, who by the way has been absent for the past two days, while my three year old is in the living room watching television. What kind of mother does that sort of thing?!

I didn't bother talking to Jax as I stomped my way back over to the kitchen and began to clean up the breakfast mess. I guess you can say I was ignoring him but he deserved it. That little girl in the living room is his daughter as well and he didn't even give a shit that she could have walked in at any moment and saw her parents having sex. When Grace was a baby, I would have to beg Jax to have sex. He refused to do it while Grace was in the house because he didn't want her to hear us. Now he was like some cavemen that needed to have sex anywhere and everywhere. Well he can go to his whore if that's how he's gonna be. I could feel his cold, hard glare boring holes into my skin as I cleaned up the kitchen table. If he was seriously pissed off because I cocked blocked him, then he can just get the hell over it. I remember many times when I was in the mood and he would pull the 'i'm too tired' or 'I got a lot on my mind' card. But God-forbid I deny him sex, it's like starting WWIII. I just wanted things to go back to the way they were before. I wanted to actually have my husband home all night and not just part of the night or not coming home at all. He was missing out on things with Gracelynn and she just wanted her daddy around. I just wanted the old Jax back but unfortunately, the old Jax was nothing but a distant memory.

**A/N: Hey guys! I want to thank all the people that commented, favorited, and follows the story! I didn't think I would have that many people on board with this story but I am so happy that so many of you like it. I wanted you all to see how Kate's life is with raising her daughter and how Jax's attitude is straining their relationship. I know that Jax seems like a kind and caring spouse on the show, well he won't always be like that in this story. Sometimes, you might even get the feeling of hating Jax because of his actions…. Like I said in the first chapter, this story isn't going to be the type where Jax saves the day and makes everything better again. It's going to be a nitty gritty kind of relationship that he and Kate have and I can't wait to let you all experience it! I hope you enjoy the update! **


	3. Chapter 3

I hated looking into the mirror lately.

The woman that was standing directly in front of me was no longer the bubbly, blonde girl anymore. No, the person that was standing before me was just a dull and sad version of that girl. Dark fingerprints were imprinted into my skin and harsh bite marks from where Jax took full control littered my pale body. Remember when I said that Jax was pissed off because I wouldn't fuck him in the kitchen, well he made sure to get it in a couple hours later when Gracelynn was taking a nap. It was almost like an ambush, I was just folding the clothes in the laundry room and then suddenly I was pinned up against the dryer. His hands were so harsh on my body that it felt like a stranger was touching me. The longer it went on the more violent he seemed to get. He would get more and more aggressive with each thrust that I wasn't crying out in passion anymore, instead I was crying out in pain. Tears were spilling from my eyes as I held on for dear life as he went harder and faster. It's not like I never had it rough but this was a totally different story; this was on the borderline of rape. His whore he has stashed away at the clubhouse might like it that way but I sure as hell didn't.

I knew that he wasn't going to be home tonight since he got what he wanted earlier. It kind of pissed me off that lately all I was good for was sex. If he didn't get it at the clubhouse or from one of the porn stars that he invested his money in, then I was apparently the last resort. It wasn't always like that. Before, I was the only resort and it was a lot more gently and loving. Yeah, we had a couple of fuck 'n' go's here and there but most of the time it was a sensual and loving event. He knew what I liked and I knew what he liked; he never forced me to do anything that I didn't feel comfortable doing. A person would figure that since we've been together for almost 17 years that there wouldn't be anything we were ashamed of doing but there were some things that I just found to be over the top. He was completely okay with this and never pushed his boundaries, well he didn't until he became the top dog of SAMCRO. Sometimes I really have to ask myself why I even stay with him. Do I stay because he's the only person i've been with? Jax and I have been together since I was 13 years old. Being that i'm almost 30, that's a long damn time to be with one man. I never kissed, touched, or had sex with another man. It has just been Jax this entire time. Was I staying with him because of Grace? I wanted Grace to live in a stable household with both parents involved in her life. So far, i'm the only one that really gives a damn about her. Jax just comes and goes, making sure to bring her toys or other things to cover up the time he's been away. Maybe he was just going through a phase and it would soon pass and bring me back my husband. One can only hope, right?

The next two days came and went and the only sign of Jax was a text that I received from him last night around 3 AM. He told me that he got sidetracked by club business and that he would try his best to be home today. I of course didn't text him back seeing as I was half-asleep and also because I didn't have anything to say. If he wanted to hold a conversation with me then he could call or get his ass home. I knew that he wasn't going to be home for a while but I needed him here today. Gracelynn's dance recital was tonight and I had told him several times for the past couple weeks that he needed to be there. All the other little girl's fathers were gonna be there and I didn't want Grace to feel like her father didn't care enough to show like the other dads had done. It was bad enough that I was getting looks of sympathy and getting looks of judgement while I sat in the waiting room while Grace practiced. I didn't care what those women said about me but judging my daughter because of who her father was not gonna fly. Grace didn't need people feeling sorry for her because she had an absent father that was the president of the most notorious club in Charming. Maybe they just needed to mind their own business for once in their boring lives and not worry about mine. Thankfully, Gemma was going to be there so I doubt any of those ladies will have anything to say. All I needed was for Jax to show up and act like that loving dad I know he is.

"Gracelynn Taylor Teller, if you don't get in this house right now, you're gonna be in big trouble!" I yelled through the kitchen window. It was almost six and she was still playing around with Boris in the backyard. I needed to get her dressed and in the car by 5:45 and it was 10 minutes till. "Grace, now!" I announced as I marched my way over to the backdoor. She instantly came running after she saw that I wasn't playing around this time. "We only have 10 minutes to get you ready for your recital." I picked her little body up and hustled up the stairs and to my room. I quickly fixed her hair how the teacher wanted it to be fixed and struggled to get her costume on. I still hadn't seen or heard from Jax, so who the hell knows where he is. Gemma had texted me earlier to say that she would meet us at the studio and that she was bringing along one of her friends, God only knows who it could be. If Jax decides not to show, at least Gemma and I will be there to cheer her on.

"Mommy, is daddy gonna watch me dance?" She asked me as I was zipping up her little outfit. I didn't answer her right away because I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell my daughter that Jax would more than likely miss her first recital but I didn't want to tell her that he would be in the front row either. I turned her around in my arms and gave her a smile, "Daddy's a busy person but i'm sure he will do everything he can to be there tonight." She just nodded her head and gave me that smile that resembled her father's so much. I gave her a sloppy, playful kiss on her cheek and picked her off the ground. I checked my watch and saw that we needed to get going. Luckily, I was already dressed and ready to go, so out the door we went. I quickly buckled Grace into her carseat and made sure she was comfortable since her little dance costume was kind of big. Once she was situated, I climbed in the drivers seat and started the Range Rover. Seconds later, we were out of the driveway and on the road towards the studio. Thankfully, the dance studio was only a couple minutes away from the house so it wouldn't take us too long to get there. I was just hoping that when I pull into the parking lot I will see a lone Harley sitting among the cars.

Typical, Jax was nowhere to be found and the recital was about to start. As I was getting Grace out of her carseat, I tried my best to hide my anger because I didn't want her seeing that I was upset. So like always, I put a smile on my face and faced the wicked mothers that were congregating near the entrance. Botox, fake tans, and expensive clothing were staring holes into me as I helped Grace out of her coat and led her over to where the other students were. I kept on telling myself that they were just jealous that I got what they could never have but they probably had a better shot at getting Jax into their house than I did. If they were truly jealous of me then they really needed to step into my shoes for a day and see what it's really like being married to Jackson Teller; it wasn't a walk in the park that's for sure.

I soon made my way over to the auditorium and found Gemma sitting in the front row. No one was sitting anywhere near her but that wasn't anything new. If you didn't personally know Gemma or even if you knew her, she just sent off this vibe of being intimidating. She was the queen of Charming and everyone knew that. Hell, she intimidated me sometimes. "It's about time you got here." She piped up as I took my seat next to her. "Is Gracie excited?" I only nodded my head as I smoothed down my dress. I knew that Gemma knew something was bothering me but hopefully she wouldn't ask about it. "What crawled up your ass?" She asked harshly. I just shook my head and looked towards the stage. I didn't want my mother-in-law involved in my marital troubles, especially since my mother-in-law was Gemma. She let out a sigh and leaned back in her seat, "It's Jax isn't it?" I kept my eyes trained on one of the props, silently giving her my answer. It was silent for a couple minutes between us, that was until the pretty wicked mothers club showed up. They just had to sit right behind us in a room that had tons of empty seats. It was like Mean Girls but these mean girls didn't have any of their natural facial functions or body parts anymore.

"Hello, Kathryn." Nicolette, the head mother spoke out. "You remember my husband, Greg right?" She placed her hands on the guys chest and smiled. I just nodded my head and shook the man's extended hand. "It's nice to see you again." I told him nicely. I could see fire raging in Nicolette's eyes but it wasn't my fault that her husband was being a normal, polite individual. "So, where's your husband; not here as usual?" She pressed as her husband went to take his seat, leaving her to stand alone in front of Gemma and I. After hearing Nicolette mention the whereabouts of her son, Gemma's attention was now casted on the wannabe queen in front of us. "What's it to you, barbie doll?" Gemma asked, now standing up from her seat. I could see Nicolette was debating on whether or not to back down but she was currently standing her ground. I guess she didn't know the power Gemma Teller-Morrow held when she was by herself. She really didn't need the club guys standing behind her because she was more than capable of handling things herself. Nicolette instantly stepped back a little, "I was just wondering where Jax was so I could tell him hello and everything." She said fakely. "It seems as if I haven't seen him in ages." She gave Gemma a smile, which did not get her one back. Gemma just stood there like a stone figure, making that face that meant you were about to get your ass kicked if you didn't remove yourself from the same area she was in. Nicolette must have gotten the message since she was now scurrying back to her seat. Maybe I should invite Gemma to these things more often.

"What the hell was that all about?" She asked as she took her seat once again. I just shrugged my shoulders, "Dance moms and their everyday drama." If Lifetime ever wanted to find a new crop of moms for their show, Dance Moms, then these bitches behind me would be the perfect replacements. They were snotty, bitchy, fake, and had nothing else to do except get into each other's business. "They have nothing else to do except get into other people's business and gossip about everything and everyone." I answered back. Gemma just shook her head and remained seated, which I was very thankful for. She could have easily kicked Nicolette's ass and gotten herself thrown out but she remained civilized for Grace's sake. "So, who's this person you said your were bringing with you?" I asked, changing the subject. Gemma was looking at her phone, texting someone I gathered. "Oh just one of my friends." She said nonchalantly, causing me to roll my eyes. It was no telling who Gemma actually invited. "I think you'll like him." She gave me a smile and placed her phone back in her purse. Now I really was curious about who she invited. I was about to ask her to tell me who it was but the sound of the seat moving next to me stopped me from doing so. My head whipped around to the side and say none other than Alex Trager sitting right next to me. 'Hiya, babe." He smiled. I couldn't help but roll my eyes as I turned back to Gemma and saw she had a smile placed on her face as well. "You invited Tig of all people to a dance recital?" I asked annoyed. Don't get me wrong, I loved Tig like a brother or something but I just couldn't imagine him being here at the moment. She simply shrugged her shoulders and continued to smile, "He said he wanted to see Grace, so I invited him." I rolled my eyes and turned back towards Tig. He was just sitting there like he was a regular patron to these kind of things. "So when does the little rugrat get on stage?" He asked as he checked his watch. The show was supposed to start 10 minutes ago but was being delayed for some unknown reason.

I simply shrugged my shoulders, "It should be starting soon." He just nodded his head. "Tig, yo-you haven't heard from Jax today have you?" I decided to ask. I knew that he was probably more likely to have seen or heard from Jax today and I was just curious as to see if Jax had said anything about attending tonight. Tig's eyes connected with mine and then looked back towards the stage. "You know, I haven't really seen Jax today. He had some business up in Lodi with Chibs." I could tell he was lying, it was written all over his fucking face. Why couldn't anyone just be honest with me anymore, dammit! I was about to respond to his lie but the curtains began to raise and standing center stage was my daughter and her little dance friends. Even though she was only three years old, I was having a proud mommy moment. The little girl that was standing before me has gone through more crap than any of those little girls standing next to her. Those little girls never had to deal with people threatening their lives because of who their father was. Those little girls never had to see her father come through the door bloody and beaten because he decided to show his ass off. Those little girls never had to see their fathers come home covered in someone else's blood. And those little girls never had to feel what it's like not to have their fathers sitting there watching them at their recitals. Grace was a tough little cookie and that side definitely didn't come from my side of the family. She was a mini Jax and that Teller blood just coursed through her tiny veins; I think that was what scared me the most. I didn't want my daughter ending up inheriting her father's "business" and having to go through the things that plagued her father for all these years. That was the absolute last thing I wanted for my daughter to experience….

**A/N: Hey guys! So I know I said I was gonna bring the drama starting this chapter but for this story to work out the way I want it too, I had to cut back on the drama until next chapter. I just wanted to continue to show how Kate sees her life with Jax has began to spiral out of control before actually having them full on interact with one another. I also wanted to let you know that I will be bringing in a couple new characters. You can find them on the Photobucket account I have set up; it should be on my homepage. One of the new characters will challenge Kate in more ways than one, and it's gonna be good! Like I said, i'm sorry if the update lacked excitement and everything but I promise that the drama will begin to unravel in the next update. I PINKY PROMISE :) Please continue to review and follow and favorite the story if you haven't done so already. I really appreciate all the support I am getting from this story and hearing what you have to say!**

**Thanks again!**


	4. Chapter 4

Jax never showed up.

I knew that he wouldn't show but knowing that Grace was hoping he would be sitting there, watching her perform was absolutely heartbreaking. She tried to play it off like it didn't bother her but I could instantly tell that it did. She wasn't her normal, bubbly self. Hell, even Tig tried to cheer her up but that didn't work either. All she wanted was for her father to be there and cheer her on like all the other little girls dads had done. I wouldn't have even cared if he showed up at the very end, at least he would have been there for something. He was probably at the clubhouse with his whore, getting lost in the vast hole that i'm sure her pussy has become.

"Mommy, can we go see daddy?" Grace asked from the backseat. We were almost home and Teller-Morrow was the last place I wanted to be right now. I'm sure Tig went back and filled Jax in on everything that went on because I sure as hell wasn't gonna. "We can go see daddy tomorrow. It's late and way past your bedtime." My answer was not what she wanted to hear. "Mommy, I want to go see daddy now!" She screamed. I looked in the rearview mirror and saw that she was full on crying. "Why can't we go see, daddy!" She continued to wail. I let out a sigh and pulled into the driveway. I placed the car in park and placed my hands on the steering wheel. I was way beyond stressed at the moment and having my child throwing a fit in the backseat over her absent father was not what I needed right now. I took a few deep breaths before exiting the vehicle and unbuckling my still screaming child. I tried my best to calm her down, telling her that Jax would be home soon or that we would go see him first thing in the morning, but none of it was working. She was hell bent on going to see her father but he was the last person I wanted to see right now. "Baby, I promise we will go see daddy first thing in the morning." I continued to promise as I was changing her into a pair of pajamas. She was still very upset but I think the fact that Jax wasn't at the dance recital was starting to fuel some of those tears. I placed her on the bed and tucked her in, making sure to stay there until she fell asleep. It took her a little while longer to actually fall asleep but I just sat there and stared at the window. How could Jax just blow off his own flesh and blood for some rancid pussy? Maybe wanting to have a child with him was a bad idea. He was there so much when Grace was first born and then as she got older, he just became more and more distant. I thought that maybe having a baby would help us out a little but it just seems to have made us even more distant. He used to love to come home and play around with Grace or play around with me even. Now, it was a miracle if he even pulled into the driveway, let alone spent the night.

After about an hour of just sitting and staring at the wall, I crept out of the room and into my own. The bed looked so inviting but I was in desperate need of a shower and a drink for that matter. I started stripping out of my clothes and turned on the shower in the process. I didn't bother waiting long enough for the water to actually get hot, I just walked right in and dipped my head under the water. The hot water was just what I needed but it wasn't going to cure everything that I had going on. I quickly washed my hair and scrubbed my body down, before grabbing my towel that hung right next to the shower. I didn't have time to fool around in the shower. If this had been a normal day, I would have spent twice as long shampooing my hair or just standing under the warm stream. Hell, I might have even had company but that hasn't happened in quite some time and I didn't see it happening anytime soon. I wrapped the massive towel around my body and walked into the bedroom to retrieve my pajamas. I didn't bother to dry my hair, just deciding to let it air dry during the night. I just piled it on top of my head and crawled into my California King bed and drifted off to sleep….

"Okay, so, I have decided that I want to start dating again." I looked over at my sister and shook my head. Jordan was a serial dater and had probably dated almost every man in the Continental United States. "I really want to get back on the horse and find Mr. Right." She said nonchalantly. "So, do you wanna come out with me and Penn tonight and see if I can score a date?" She asked, sticking her lip out. I rolled my eyes and slapped the sandwich that I had made for her on the plate in front of her. "Jordan, I can't just stop everything i'm doing and go out with you and Penn anymore. What am I supposed to do with Grace?" She just shrugged her shoulders and continued with that stupid face. "Why can't you and Penelope just go together; why do you even need me there?" I whined. I was all for a girls night out but the last time I went out with Jordan and Penelope, I ended up sitting in police custody because of their little antics. Going on a guy search and then ending up in God knows where was not how I wanted to spend my Friday night.

Jordan let out a sigh and leaned up against the counter, coming face to face with me. "Why do you have to turn everything into a damn question, Kate?" She huffed out. "All I want is my best friend and sister there by my side so I don't end up going home with the wrong guy." She placed her hands on my shoulders, "Will you please take the stick out of your ass for one night and come out with us. I promise it will be so much fun." She smiled. I stared into her bright, blue eyes, debating if I really wanted to turn down her offer. I hadn't had a girls night out since I had Grace and I was in desperate need of getting out of the house for a bit. The only hurdle that was standing in my way was Jax. I had already made arrangements with Gemma for Grace to spend the night tonight and that was before Jordan decided to spring this question on me. The last I heard, Jax was on some kind of run in Tacoma and wouldn't be back for a couple days. But I knew that those things were never set in stone and that he could arrive back any moment now. If I did decide to go out, what was I going to wear? The only thing I felt comfortable in anymore were sweaters and jeans and I couldn't remember the last time I even dressed up. It would be nice to get out but the chance of Jax finding out was the hurdle stopping me from doing so. He got to go out all the time so why couldn't I? It's not like I was going for my own personal pleasures. The only reason I was going was to support my sister and make sure she doesn't end up going home with a psycho or loser. That's what a big sister is supposed to do, right?

"Earth to Kate!" Jordan snapped her fingers in front of my face.

I pulled my head back a little, "What?" I asked confused. She was probably talking to me the whole time but I wasn't listening. "What's your problem now?" I pulled her plate away from her and placed in the sink, not bothering to throw the rest of the sandwich in the trash. She let out a huff and went back to telling me more reasons why I should come out with her and Penelope. "It'll be so much fun, Kate. When was the last time you actually had a night to yourself and had fun at the same time?" She asked pointedly. I just rolled my eyes. "That's what I thought. So you need to come out with us for sure now." She removed herself from the counter and rushed over to where I was standing. One again, she placed her hands on my shoulders and glared at me. "Kathryn Anna Teller, you need a night out with the two best people you know. You need to get out into the real world and have conversations that aren't about Nick Jr characters or barbie dolls. You need to have fun for once and stop worrying about every damn thing." I knew that she was right. I needed to get out and see what the real world was like again. I needed to have conversations with people that were above the age of 20. "You're right." I told her. "I need to get out and have fun for once." Jordan's face lit up like a christmas tree as she wrapped her arms tightly around my neck. "Yaay! I am so excited." She twisted our bodies around in her bone crushing hug. "We are gonna have so much fun, Kate!" She let me out of her choke hold and stood there for a minute before running towards the steps. "Where are you going?" I called out as she power-walked up the steps to the bedrooms. "I have to find you something to wear!" She yelled back out. "Gotta make you look sexy."

I must have tried on 20 different outfits and I still wasn't dressed. Everything that Jordan was pulling out of my closet was either old or something that I would never be caught dead in. She wanted me to be able to show a little cleavage but I kept turning her down every time she brought me a revealing outfit. "Kate, you are not making this easy. It's just for one night, would it kill you to wear something sexy for just one night?" She asked annoyed. "You have the body of a supermodel and you hide it because of your stupid, ass husband." I just layed there and listened to her complain and watched as she threw clothes across the room. "If I had your body, I would go naked everywhere possible if I had the chance." She muttered as she finally came back out holding a black dress. "How about this?" She asked holding it in front of her. I leaned up on my elbows and looked the dress over. It was a very nice dress and wasn't slutty in the least bit. "Is this even mine?" I asked. She looked down at the dress then back up at me, nodding her head in the process. "I don't remember buying this dress." I got off the bed and took a hold of the garment. It really was a nice dress. Maybe I bought it and forgot all about it. "It looks like something you would buy." Jordan said coming over to me. We must have stared at the dress for at least five minutes before actually doing anything else. "So are you gonna wear it?"

I nodded my head, "Yeah, I guess." Jordan clapped her hands together in excitement. I couldn't help but smile as I walked past her and into the bathroom. Jordan was talking about something but I closed the door and started getting everything out that I would need. I plugged up the curling iron and got my makeup out and situated. I figured that since the dress was black that I would make a smokey eye look with a little foundation. I didn't want to go over the top like Jordan and Penn were known to do but I didn't want to walk around with my dark circles and pale face. "Do you want me to do your makeup?" Jordan yelled through the closed door. I simply replied with a no and started separating my hair. I started twisting different sections into the iron and 15 minutes later, my hair was fixed to perfection. The only thing left to do was apply the eyeshadow and foundation and then get dressed. It didn't take me all that long to get my makeup on since I was pretty much a pro. I used to do Jordan's makeup for school dances or dates all the time, so I was more or less a seasoned pro. I knew how to make it look classy but sexy at the same time unlike Jordan. She would cake the stuff on her face and come out looking like Bozo the Clown.

"Are you ready yet?" Jordan asked knocking on the door. I could hear her heels clicking on the hardwood floor, basically telling me that she was ready to go. I let out a sigh and started slipping on the dress, not bothering to look into the mirror while doing so. I zipped up the back of the dress and placed my feet inside of my pumps before finally deciding to look at my reflection. I slowly turned around and was a bit shocked to see how I looked. I already knew how my makeup and hair looked but when the dress was added in, it changed the way I looked completely. "Kate, are you re-" Jordan stopped mid-sentence as she entered the bathroom. "Oh my gosh." I slowly turned towards her and smiled. "You look absolutely stunning." She gushed. I just waved her off and took another glance in the mirror. "I'm actually a little jealous right now." Jordan and I both laughed aloud as she took my hand and led me out of the bedroom. Tonight was either going to be a bust or simply just a night where I could actually enjoy myself for once….

We arrived at the packed club a little after 9:00 and I was immediately thrust onto the dance floor thanks to Jordan and Penelope. The last time I danced in a club was when Will Smith was still the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I'm pretty sure I was the oldest and lamest one out there but Jordan and Penelope insisted that I dance and they weren't gonna let up until I actually danced. I must have made it through two songs before I was tired. Jordan and P were grinding against two men that they had just met, so that gave me the opportunity to leave and head for the bar. "What are you having?" The bartender asked once I arrived at the bar.

"Shirley Temple, please." I yelled out over the music. The bartender just looked at me with a smile and then turned back around to make the drink. I know a Shirley Temple is basically a pussy drink but seeing as I am the designated driver tonight that would be the closest I get to being smashed. "Here ya go." The guy placed my drink in front of me, earning a thank you from myself before he went to take the other patrons orders. I took a sip of my drink, enjoying the nice refreshing feeling as it made its way down my throat. I looked around at all the people dancing and mingling around me, sensing that they were having a much better time than I was. I tried to tell Jordan that a club wasn't the best place to meet acceptable men but like always she didn't listen to me. I really had no room to talk though; I met Jax at some party and we immediately hit it off. I just wish that Jordan would have more sense than I did to find a guy that would be worth her time and not be some thug or criminal. Wow, I am really being hypocritical right now.

I quickly finished up my drink, now realizing that I was in desperate need of the bathroom. I weaved in and out of the people grinding all over the dance floor, soon finding the bathroom. I pushed myself into one of the stalls and did what I needed to do before exiting to wash my hands. I took a look in the mirror, still trying to figure out if that was really my reflection staring back at me. It was so weird to see myself all made-up because on a normal day I come out of the house looking like the crypt keeper or something. I never had time to get dressed up or even go out anymore. When Jax and I were much younger and the club wasn't so lethal, we would go out every weekend and he would make it a point to show me off. He loved seeing all the men get jealous that I was with him and that none of them could have me. It was like I was his prized possession and he was gonna be the winner for the rest of his life. It seems as if now he can barely stand to look me in the eye. I don't have a reason to get all gussied up anymore, it's not like a three year old really cares what you look like.

I let out a sigh and turned the sick off, drying my hands on an available paper towel. I really needed to stop with this self-pity shit. I smoothed down my dress and made my way back into the club. Jordan and Penelope were still on the dance floor, dancing as if their lives depended on it. I decided that I would stop being the wet-blanket of the group and actually join them for a dance or two. I strutted my 5'4 self onto the dance floor and wedged myself between the two of them. "Go Kate!" Jordan yelled as I moved my body to the beat of the music. I was getting so lost in the music that I didn't recognize anything around me. It was like I was on LSD and having a trip or something. I could actually feel the music pumping through my veins and it was feeling pretty good. "Sexy momma!" Penelope cat-called from the side. "Looks like she's catching someone's attention." I looked over to where she pointing and saw that I had indeed gotten the attention of a certain gentleman. Our eyes instantly connected and it was making my body react even more. I watched intently as he got up from his seat and started to make his way towards the dance floor but more importantly as he made his way towards me. People seemed to separate themselves from where we were and circled around us as his hands made contact with my hips. He pulled me into his firm body and swayed as back and forth as the music continued to pump around us. I was so lost in the moment that I didn't even know what I was doing any more. It was as if it was just the two of us on the dancefloor and the rest of the world just disappeared. I stretched my arm behind my head and wrapped it around his neck to bring him even closer than he already was. The way his breath was hitting my neck was turning me on even more and I could feel his lips coming inches away from my skin. The fact that I was married to the most notorious man in Charming went flying out the window and the only thing left was this random guy who was practically sweeping me off my feet. If I didn't stop this soon, I would end up in a heap of trouble but if Jax gets to play then who says I can't play as well?

**A/N: Hey Guys! I hope you enjoyed the update. I wanted to get it out before the homework that comes with college starts piling on. I don't know when I will be able to update again but I will try my best to get the next installment out in the coming weeks. I am not giving up on this story so if I don't update for a while, there is no need to panic lol. So, what did you guys think about Kate letting loose? Pretty scandalous right!? If you haven't already looked on the Photobucket account set up for this story, then I encourage you to do so. If you don't want to or something like that then that's cool as well. If you don't want to look or if you have, the person playing the mystery guy is none other than Mr. Kenny Johnson himself. I know that he played Kozik (who I love) but Koz will not be apart of this story. I just think he's insanely gorgeous so why not put him in the story to make Kate's life more difficult, right? Lol. **

**So, please review and let me know what you thought. I love hearing from you guys and I hope you have a great night! **

**Oh and also, you can go on my profile and go on the Polyvore site set up for this story. There you will find the girl's outfits for their night out! **


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up the next morning feeling as if I had just gotten hit by a train. My head was pounding, my body was sore, and I was on the verge of throwing up whatever was left in my stomach. The memories of last night were absent from my mind as of now but the lingering feeling of the bad judgement calls were making themselves very well known. I slowly sat up in the bed and kept my eyes closed for a couple minutes, trying to relieve the spinning feeling that had now overcome me. "Fuck me." I moaned. The last time I got this drunk and felt this bad was almost 10 years ago and I vowed that I would never let myself get to that kind of level every again. Never again will I agree to go out with Jordan and Penelope.

I looked over at the clock and saw that it was a little after 12 in the afternoon, meaning that I was extremely late to pick up my daughter. I sprung out of bed, ignoring the spinning and nausea and started stripping out of my dress from last night. I threw on one of Jax's sweatshirts and a pair of shorts, along with my worn-out running shoes. I swept my purse off the floor and jogged through the house but stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Jax leaning against the door, a cigarette hanging from his lips. "Afternoon, Kate." He sickly smiled. I looked around, trying to see if my daughter was anywhere in the room. "If you're finally looking for our daughter, you will remember that she's still at Gemma's." He sneered out, stubbing the cigarette out on the bottom of his shoe. He pushed off the doorframe and slowly stalked towards me. I let out a shaky breath because I knew that this was not gonna end well for me. He reached his hand out and slowly ran it down my cheek, making my senses heighten even more. "Wanna tell me where you were all night, Katie. Wanna tell me why my daughter was with Gemma all night instead of with her own mother." His hand caressed my cheek softly, but his eyes were telling me something else. When you have been with someone for as long as i've been with Jax, you come to know when you're okay or when you're up shits creek without a paddle. I was rafting on that creek right now and I already knew my ores were about to become lost.

I cleared away the worry that was bubbling up in my throat and answered him. "I- Jordan and Penelope wanted me to get out of the house for a little while." I whispered. He continued to look down at me, looking for me to explain myself even more. "They said I needed a night out and Jordan wanted me to help her look for a suitable date." His eyes instantly grew darker at the mention of helping Jordan find herself a date. "You did what?" He asked a bit more agitated. He dropped his hand from my cheek and backed up a little. "Why the fuck did your sister need you to help her score a guy?" My eyes widened a little at his outburst. "What the fuck were you doing, Kathryn!" I flinched as he yelled my whole name. "You go out without telling anyone where you're going and you go and get thrashed off your ass but you tell me that you just went to help your sister find a guy to hook up with? Do you really think that i'm stupid or something, Kate?" He continued to yell as I backed away. "You're supposed to be a doting and loving wife but you dump our kid off every chance you get so you can-" My hand bounced off his face, stopping him mid-sentence. His head hung low for a couple seconds, I guess he was trying to figure out if that really just happened. "Don't you ever talk about me being the bad parent." I articulated every word so he could understand that I wasn't messing around. "You come and go like a fucking gust of wind and you don't have to see the look of disappointment or sadness etched onto that little girl's face. You don't have to be the one to lie to her about where you really are because I certainly can't tell a three year old that her father is face down between some whore's legs." My chest was heaving by the time I finished my rant and I was suddenly not afraid anymore. I don't know if it was the liquid courage that was still coursing through my body or that I was finally fed up with everything Jax had done. In the back of my mind, I knew that once he walked back out those doors for however long, I would snap back into being the woman that worried and cared about her husband's whereabouts and once he comes back I would be waiting with open arms. But for right now, I was going to be the woman my mother raised me to be and I was going to stand my ground against Jackson Teller. "Gracelynn was the only little girl that didn't have her father watching her dance the other night. Every other little girl's dads were there cheering them on and praising them for their performance. Even though Gemma and Tig were there to help me cheer her on, it wasn't the same because you weren't there." His face remained in a stoic position, taking in every word I was saying. Whether he was taking it seriously was another story. He was probably so pissed that I slapped him across the face that he was blocking me out right now and waiting to attack. "So next time you decide to talk about me being such a bad mother, you might want to think back to all three years that you've been absent from Grace's life." And with that, I pushed past him and made my way out the door. I got into my car, ignoring the fact that Jax was standing on the walkway and looking like he was about to blow a gasket.

As I made my way down the road and in the direction of Gemma's house, I couldn't help but start to cry. I don't know if I was crying because I was so mad or if I was disappointed in myself because Jax's words were starting to get to me. Was I being a bad mom because I sent my daughter to her grandmother's house because I needed a night out to get drunk? Grace was my number one priority and I would give up anything, anytime just so I could spend even more time with her. Since Jax was so vacant from her short life, she needed me around and I was starting to push her off on other people even more. By Jax saying all those things, it made him nothing more than a hypocrite. The only time he was there for Grace was when it was convenient to him. If the club or one of his whores got in the way, Grace would be put on the back burner. I had long given up the constant battle I put up in order for him to notice me. I knew that I was going to be last for sure when it came to the life and times of Jax Teller. I guess I was spoiled all those years ago when I was the number one thing in his life. All the times we would just ride off together and head out to some random place to spend some quality time together was a thing of the past and I highly doubt it was going to come back. The only thing I really cared about was Gracelynn getting acquainted with her father and having her know the Jax I used to know and not the Jax that was being ravished by his inner demons.

I parked my car behind Gemma's Cadi and quickly fixed myself in the rearview mirror. I didn't want Grace seeing that I was upset and I knew that Gemma was going to question me either way. I wiped away the stray tears and pulled my hair back into a ponytail before finally exiting the car. "Mommy!" Grace burst out the house and ran as fast as her little legs would allow and right into my awaiting arms. I picked her up and swung her around, hugging her tightly. "Hi baby." I whispered hoarsely in her hair. I was trying my hardest not to start crying again but as I was holding my daughter, Jax's words kept flooding into my mind. "Mommy, are you sad?" She asked leaning back into my arms, taking a look at my blotchy face. I tried my best to hold it in, giving her a smile to show her that I was alright. "No, baby." I gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm not sad." She just nodded her head and started to tell me about her visit with Gemma. As I brought her back into the house, I caught Gemma's eye and saw that Jax must have already contacted her. "Grace, sweetheart, why don't you go finish watching your movie while me and mommy talk." Gemma suggested, earning a head nod from the little girl. I placed her back on the ground and watched as she ran back into Gemma's living room. It stayed silent between the two of us for a couple minutes before Gemma decided to break the silence. "Want some coffee?" She asked, nudging me to follow her into the kitchen. "No thanks." I answered, taking a seat at the small table in the corner. I watched as Gemma walked over to the covert and pulled out a mug and filled it to the brim with the black coffee she just loved to drink. "Jax called me a couple minutes before you arrived. Said that you were hungover." I ran my hand down my face, inwardly groaning. "He also said that you blew up at him, called him a bad parent." Gemma took a seat next to me, making sure to look at as she drank her coffee. I let out a sigh, "Everything's fine, Gemma." She cocked a manicured eyebrow up at me and rolled her eyes. "Cut the shit, Kathryn." I slammed my back against the seat and crossed my arms across my chest. "Jackson is going through a rough time right now and he does not need to be hearing that he's a bad father or having you slapping him across the fucking face." She warned. "I know that you guys are going through a rough time right now but this is the time that you need to show him love and support. He needs these things more than anything else right now. He may go to those croweaters every night but at the end of that fuck, you're still the woman he chose to be his wife and you're the one who needs to be there no matter what."

I just stared at her, baffled that she was basically blaming me for causing Jax to be more stressed than he already was. "Are you blaming me for making Jax's life more complicated?" I questioned, leaning into the table to come face-to-face with my mother-in-law. She just looked down the barrel of her glasses, "Well, you're certainly not helping." She answered back honestly. That's the thing about Gemma, whether you wanted to hear it or not, she was gonna tell you the God's honest truth. "Jax's life has been complicated from the very first day he entered this world. It just gets worse as the years go on and having a family that he would give his life to protect, makes his life that much harder. He would do anything to protect you and Grace, and you know that more than anyone else does. Yeah, he's done bad things and hasn't always been there for you but he's risking his life to make sure you and Grace are safe." I just stared into her eye, seeing the seniority flooding through.

"Mommy, can we go home now?" Grace's voice cut through the silent kitchen. I looked over at my daughter and then back to Gemma. She just continued to stare into my soul, trying to get the words she had just recited to plant themselves in my psyche. "Mommy?" Grace called out once again. I just nodded my head and stood up from my chair. "Give nana a hug before you leave, baby." I told Grace before we started walking out. Gemma brought her arms out and wrapped them around Grace's little body. "Love you, sweetheart." Gemma stated, giving her a kiss on the her forehead. Grace pulled Gemma down to her level and gave her a quick kiss on the lips, "Love you too, nana." She smiled the same smile that belonged to her father. I waved goodbye to Gemma one last time before escorting Grace out to the car. While I was putting her in the carseat and all the way home, she told me all about what her and Gemma had done the previous night and today. When I pulled into the driveway, I was surprised to see that Jax's bike was still in the same spot it was when I left. Actually, I was a bit more frightened to see that he was still here. I slapped him across the face and called him a bad father, so he had to still be pretty pissed about that. "Daddy's home, mommy!" Grace shouted happily from the backseat. I just murmured a "yeah", staying seated inside of the car. Not a second later, Jax made his way out of the house and over towards the parked car. Jax and I immediately made eye contact and I could see he was still pissed off but that all changed when he saw Grace sitting behind me. "Daddy!" Grace yelled, trying to get herself unbuckled from the car seat. I watched as Jax opened the door and helped her get unbuckled before wrapping his arms tightly around her and pulling her out of the car. Grace's arms instantly made their way around Jax's neck, pulling him into a hug. "Did you have fun at nana's house?" He asked as he hugged her back. She just nodded her head and kept her little arms wrapped around his neck. The scene almost broke my heart. She was basically holding onto him for dear life, almost as if she was afraid he would slip away from her.

I knew that Jax could sense this as well. Just the look on his face told me everything I needed to know. "I love you so much, munchkin." He whispered in her blonde hair. I wiped away the stray tear that was running down my face and finally got out of the car. "I'm gonna go take a shower." I told him, earning a head nod. I took another look at the scene in front of me before walking to the house. Jax followed close behind me as I walked into the house and up the stairs. When we reached the top of the stairs, he broke off and went in the direction of Grace's bedroom. I could see that she could barely keep her eyes open but her hold on Jax was so strong. I waited until Jax was all the way in Grace's room before closing the bathroom door behind me. I didn't bother looking in the mirror because let's face it, I already knew how tragic I looked. I turned the shower on and started stripping out of my clothes, pulling my hair out of the ponytail as well. I stepped underneath the hot water and just stood there for a couple minutes. The water was comforting but it did nothing to reassure me that everything was going to be okay. The way Gemma was talking earlier made it seem as if Jax was in trouble or that the club was in trouble. I knew that Jax was never safe when it came to club business. He could go off one day and there's a possibility that I would end up a widow and Gracelynn would lose her father. I knew that. I have grown accustomed to that chance and I was reminded of it every day. I also knew that Grace and I were in the crossfires as well. If someone wanted to do something to hurt Jax, they could simply come after me or they could take a hit at Grace. I already know what it's like to be a target to make Jax crumble. I went through that already but I would do everything in my power to make sure my daughter never has to pay for something Jax has done. It's not her fault she was born into this kind of world. If there was anyone to blame, it would be me. I was the one who fell head-over-heels for Jax and I was the one who decided that it was perfectly okay to bring a child into this hell. When I first found out I was pregnant everything that SAMCRO was dealing with was simple and not so violent. Sure there was an occasional shoot-out or fight but normally everything was okay. It wasn't until Grace was a year and a half that everything started to crumble and SAMCRO was getting more dangerous.

"Whatcha thinkin about?" Jax's arms draped around my stomach, making me jump back in surprise. He placed his lips down on my shoulder, trailing slowly up my neck. I must have been so deep in thought that I didn't hear him come in or even enter the shower. "Where's Grace?" I asked as his lips continued to leave small, butterfly kisses along the side of my neck. I let out a moan as he sunk his teeth down in my skin. "She's taking a nap; Gemma must have worn her out today." I continued to let his lips make their way down my skin, slipping further down the rabbit hole that Jax created. He was being so gentle that it was almost as if I was enjoying this with another man and not the man I had grown to know. The last time Jax was this gentle was, well it was so long ago I can't really remember. Maybe the words that I told him earlier really were sinking into his head, maybe he was finally getting the point.

I slowly turned around in his arms and looked squarely into his blue eyes. He gave me that world famous Jackson Teller smirk before placing his lips onto mine. My arms immediately wrapped around his neck, trying my best to bring him closer. One of his hands tangled themselves into my hair while the other traveled down to my leg so it would hitch onto his hip. All the hate and anger that I was feeling towards Jax went flying out the window. He knew just what to do in order to make sure he was still in charge and using sex and being all nice was just two of his many secret weapons and I was once again the unknowing victim.

**A/N: Hey guys! First off I just want to say a huge thank you for all the comments I received for the last chapter. I really can't explain how happy it made me and I just want to thank you all! So, I decided to update again because I absolutely love this story. It is probably one of my favorite stories to write and I love it that all you guys love it as well. **

**Now let's get down to the business at hand! What do you all think about Kate kind of standing up to Jax? Pretty ballsy right? Don't worry, as the story goes on Kate is gonna become more and more independent and Jax is not gonna be happy about it at all. The drama is slowly starting to heat up and the new character is gonna be introduced in the next chapter. He will not only make Kate's life more ****difficult but he's gonna make her question certain things in her life (including Jax). Another batch of drama to worry about is something Kate explained in this chapter. It's up to you guys to figure out what that might be :) Now, i'm not quite sure when the next update will be because with work and school getting underway, it's gonna be hard to update anytime I can. It's my final semester before I apply for nursing school so I have to put the pedal to the metal for the next three months. But once again, thanks so much for commenting and following the story. It means a lot to me and I hope you enjoy the update. **


	6. Chapter 6

Jax's POV

"_So next time you decide to talk about me being such a bad mother, you might want to think back to all three years that you've been absent from Grace's life." _

Kate's words repeated endlessly in my ears as I laid awake that night. I know that what I had said to her pushed her over the edge but calling me a bad father was one of the worst thing i've ever been told. I loved my daughter with all my heart but work just seemed to get in the way most of the times. If I could, I would drop everything so I could make up time with Grace but the club just didn't allow that. It was safer for her to be with Kate all the time than it would be for her to be with me. If one of the niners or mayans were to see me with Grace, it is no telling what they might do. It would kill me to see my daughter suffer like her mother did all those years ago. I looked down at the woman I loved, her arms wrapped tightly around my bare waist. I couldn't help but start to smile as I watched her sleep. How could such a beautiful, smart girl fall for such a trainwreck. Kathryn Lauren Teller was the type of woman that every guy would be proud to have. She was insanely beautiful and incredibly smart. No matter what I went through in life, she was always by my side to help me through it anyway she could. I tried my best to push her away but she stood her ground and stuck around. I watched as her parents walked away from her because of me. I watched as she declined to enroll in the college of her choice. And I watched as she caught me numerous times with different women. I watched her go through so much shit and almost all of it was because of me. I wasn't the same man I was when I exchanged those vows nine years ago but Kate stayed the same. I've seen so many old ladies change for the worse over the years, including my own mother, but Kate was the same Kate I first met when I was 16 years old. She knew what was best for her and seeing the ladies around her getting mixed up in drugs and other Sons was something that she strayed away from. I would get teased in the beginning because I was with a girl who was actually normal. She was valedictorian of her senior class, president of the debate club, and a natural beauty. In my opinion, I think the guys were just jealous that I bagged her and they didn't. Kate never had to dress provocatively or wear tons of makeup. She never did anything drastic to her body because she was actually confident. The only tattoos she had was my crow that sat secretly on her hipbone.

I was lucky enough to have such a normal old lady but I was screwing everything up because of the choices I was making. I had two of the most gorgeous girls in my life and I was throwing all that away for a couple hours of pussy. The croweaters, hang-arounds, and CaraCara girls knew that I was married but it's not like they really cared. As long as they got a chance to get Jackson Teller, SAMCRO president, into bed then everything was perfectly fine in their book. They didn't care about how Kate must feel knowing that they were the ones wrapped in my arms for the night or that I was the one that chose them for the night. There have been many times where I just couldn't bring myself to walk through that front door and actually sleep in the same bed as my wife because I felt guilty about what I had done hours before. When i'm knee deep inside these other women, it feels like i'm another person and not the 35 year old that has a wife and kid waiting for me back home in suburban america The women I sleep with want the Jax Teller that they hear about. They want the danger and the roughness that this lifestyle comes with. However, Kate doesn't want Jax Teller. Kate wants Jackson Teller, the man she used to know so well before Jax came and took over. The Jackson Teller version of myself was a kind and exceptional person. He didn't like having to kill innocent people over stupid little things. He wanted to get the club out of the gun business and into how it was when JT was running it. That's a far cry from how i'm running the club today, isn't it?

After battling with myself to fall asleep half the night, I guess my body finally decided to cave and allow sleep to take over. I woke up the next morning around 9:00 and saw that Kate was already out of bed. I ran a hand down my face before exiting the bed and walking over to the dresser to grab a pair of shorts. I didn't bother with a shirt since I would just have to take it off in a couple minutes anyway in order to shower. As I made my descent down the stairs, I could hear Grace talking loudly and giggling about something. I couldn't help but smile as she continued to laugh and seconds later Kate joined in as well. When I reached the door frame that lead into the kitchen, a pang of guilt shot through my heart as I watched the scene in front of me. Gracelynn was propped up on the kitchen counter next to her mother as Kate stirred in the ingredients for her famous pancakes. They both had flour in their hair and on their faces, Gracelynn having more than Kate. Just watching them interact with one another was killing me inside because I didn't know what that was like. It was like I was standing outside a store window and watching as the people I cared so much about went on with life without me. Really, isn't that what Kate has to do? She has to go on with her life and make sure our daughter has everything she needs as well. She has to be both the mother and the father in order to keep everything balanced in our home. She's the one who has to deal with the consequences that come with being the new SAMCRO queen, whether she wants to be or not. That's the life I pushed her into and I often can't help but wonder if I had just let her go off to college would she still had found her way back to me? Would she still want to be with me after seeing what the world had to offer? Probably not.

"Daddy's awake!" I snapped out of my thoughts as Grace struggled to get down from the counter, finally having to rely on Kate's help to do so. As soon as she was down, she ran as fast as her little legs could go and into my awaiting arms. "Good morning, daddy." She exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I immediately hugged her back, catching Kate's eye in the process. "Good morning, munchkin." I whispered in her hair, giving her a kiss on the forehead when she pulled back. "It looks like the flour fairy came and sprinkled flour all over you." I said tickling her stomach, causing her to erupt in a set of giggles. "Looks like she came and visited mommy as well." Grace just nodded her head and started tracing her name that was tattooed on my chest. "Daddy?" I looked down at her, watching as she traced every single letter. "What babe?" She stopped her little finger on the C and connected her eyes with mine. "Are you gonna be here when I get back?" She practically whispered. I looked up and saw Kate was staring back at me, waiting to hear what my answer might be. How was I supposed to answer that question? I couldn't lie to her and say that I would be home and not show up for a couple days. If I did that then she would hate me as much as her mother does. I would lose the trust of my daughter and that's one thing I never wanted to do. It's hard enough trying to earn Kate's trust back when I haven't done a damn thing to try to fix it yet but it would break my heart even more to have my daughter know that i'm nothing but a liar. "Daddy?"

Kate's POV

I watched intensely as Jax struggled to answer Grace's question. It wasn't fucking rocket science, it was a simply question that Grace wanted the answer too. I could already see it in his eyes that he was about to lie right to her face and I wasn't gonna have that. "Gracelynn, sweetheart, can you please go wash your hands. Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes." She just nodded her little head as Jax set her down on the floor. I waited until she made her way into the other room before I laid into Jax. "You son of a bitch." Jax's head snapped in my direction. "You were just gonna lie right to her face weren't you?" I asked coming face to face with him. "How can you think of lying to your three year old daughter like that, Jax." He just shook his head, not daring to say anything back. "I don't care if you lie to me but if you lie to that little girl, then you nothing more than a coward." His eyes were once again filled with rage and I knew that if I didn't stop talking I would be on the receiving end of all that rage. "Gracelynn is your only child, Jax. If you love her as much as you say you do then you don't have to lie to her. Just tell her the truth, even if the truth isn't what she wants to hear. She deserves to hear the truth once in a while." I pushed past him and into the next room to make sure Grace was alright. As I was helping her finish washing her hands, I heard the front door open and shut before the sound of his motorcycle revved to life. "Is daddy leaving?" Grace asked looking up at me. I just shook my head in disappointment, "Yeah, I guess he is baby."

"Go get it, Boris." I yelled as I flung the frisbee up in the air. I watched as I watched my 6 year old Border Collie jumped high in the air to retrieve the plastic toy before bringing it back to me, slobber and all. "That's quite a dog you got there." I quickly turned around and was faced with the person who had just spoke. "Border Collies are one of the most athletic breed of dogs out there." He continued to speak. I just looked at him and nodded my head, not really sure what to say back. "Oh, I am being so rude right now. My name is Tyler, Tyler Walker." He brought his hand out. I looked down at it and decided that he seemed okay enough to interact with. "Kathryn Teller." I said as I shook his hand. "It's very nice to meet you Mr. Walker." He gave me a hundred-watt smile before releasing my hand. "It's nice to meet you as well, Mrs. Teller." I couldn't help but smile back. This guy was something else that's for sure. It didn't help matters much that he was pretty gorgeous but I kept reminding myself that i'm married. "So, do you and Boris mind if I accompany you on the rest of your walk?" He asked. I thought about it for a couple seconds, realizing that if one of the Sons drove by and saw me with this random guy then they would report it back to Jax. But then again, the Sons had no idea that I came to this park so I didn't see any harm in allowing him to walk with us. Plus if anything was to go down, Boris was with me so I would be okay. "Sure." I finally answered back, earning yet another smile from Tyler.

We began to walk around the perimeter of the park, staying silent for a couple minutes until Tyler decided to break the ice. "So Kate, what do you do for a living?" I couldn't help but laugh at his choice of question. It was the quintessential question that everyone seemed to ask when you first meet. "I'm a stay-at-home mom." I said as I dug my phone at of my vest pocket. I pressed the home button and the picture of Grace and I instantly popped up. "She's basically my everything." I said as I passed the phone over to him. He just stared at the picture for a couple seconds before handing it back to me. "She's beautiful; must take after her mother." He complimented, making my face turn about 10 shades of red. "What's her name?" He asked as we decided to take a seat on the nearby bench. "Gracelynn." He nodded his head, stating that a beautiful name like that was fit for such a beautiful little girl. "My husband's good friend does these Elvis impersonations and he was adamant that we should name her Priscilla or Lisa Marie, so when we went to visit Graceland, it just came to me to name her Gracelynn. I mean it kind of sounds like Graceland, so let's just say Bobby was very happy with our choice." I realized that I was rambling on and on, quickly apologizing for doing so. "So do you have any children?" He slowly shook his head no. "My ex-wife never wanted children so we just decided not to have any." That was understandable. Not everyone was cut out for kids, especially my husband. It was his turn to ask the question now. "How long have you and your husband been married?" I thought about it for a couple seconds, trying to add up the total years that Jax and I have been together. "Well, we've been married for 9 and we've been together 17 years altogether." He looked a bit shocked for a second but then pulled his face into a happy one. "Wow, 17 years is a long time to be with the same person. What's your secret?" He laughed. "You guys must really love each other." I just smiled a weak smile. If he only knew the real truth about Jax and I's relationship then he definitely wouldn't be saying that.

There was a silence between us once again before he checked his watch. "It's totally fine if you have to go." He looked over at me. "I have to go pick up my daughter anyway from daycare." I told him. He looked at his watch one last time before standing up, helping me up in the process as well. "Even though I just met you, this conversation has been the best 30 minutes i've ever spent talking with someone." He smiled. "I would love if we could do it again, as friends of course. Maybe over coffee or tea?" He suggested taking his phone out. I nodded my head telling him that would be a great idea. He handed me his phone, already having my name in the contact information. I hesitated for a second to really think about what I was doing. I was about to give a random guy that I had just met at the dogpark my number. He seemed like a nice enough guy to get to know so what was the big deal? I quickly shook away the feeling and entered my cell number into his phone. "There ya go." I smiled as I handed the device back to him. I noticed that during the time I spent with Tyler, I have smiled more than I have in an entire week. I'm not counting the number of times Grace has made me smile because just looking at her little face makes me smile everyday but today has definitely overpassed the amount of times that Jax has made me smile in an entire month. Just seeing Tyler smile made me smile even more and he was just so nice and funny and charming and normal. Well he seemed pretty normal so far.

After saying our goodbyes, I watched as he started walking over to the parking lot. He turned around halfway through his trek and waved once again with a huge smile plastered on his face. I or course waved back and waited until he reached his car before starting off towards the other end of the park where my car was located. As I made the walk back, a smile was fixed on my face. I just couldn't stop smiling. Tyler brought out the emotion that I had lost so long ago and it was like I was a different person. I didn't feel the dread or the sadness that I was feeling moments before Tyler stepped into my life. I actually felt like a normal person for those 30 or so minutes that we spent together. I felt normal for once and it was a great feeling.

Jax's POV

"What the hell is going on?" I asked as I confronted Unser. I had just arrived at the clubhouse and welcomed with the sight of Wayne Unser having a beer at the bar. "A little early to be drinking isn't it, Wayne?" I said taking a seat next to him and flagging down one of the newest prospects to bring me one as well. He tipped back the bottle, finishing it off before turning completely around to face me. "Yeah, well when you're as old as I am anytime is a good time for a beer." I let out hearty laugh before taking a sip of my own. "So how's everything going, Jax?" He quickly changed the subject. I just shrugged my shoulders, "I guess okay. Nothing really to report on." I knew what he was trying to get at. He wasn't concerned about how things were going with the club because he already knew what was happening with the club. No, he wanted to know how everything between me and Kate were doing. Unser and Kate had the type of bond that was so strong, that it was stronger than a covalent bond. He helped her with anything she needed to be helped with and made sure to check up on her every so often. I mean I guess that's what a great uncle does but sometimes it just got to be too much. I respected that Unser was Kate's family but having him question me about our relationship was just a bit too personal. What was I supposed to tell him? Was I supposed to tell him that me and Kate are having marital troubles and that i'm probably the worst father in the world. I didn't need to tell him anything just like I didn't need to tell Gemma anything. Kate and I's relationship was between us and us only. Nobody needed to know that we rarely sleep in the same bed anymore or that we hardly see one another anymore. The things that went on between Kate and I stayed behind the doors of our home and that's as far as they will ever go.

"I saw that you weren't at Gracie's dance recital the other night." I nodded my head in confirmation. "Where were you?" He pressed on. I rolled my eyes in annoyance and finished off the rest of the beer. "I had to go on a run." I lied as I requested another cold one. Unser just looked at me, seeing right through my lie. "Wayne, unless you have something important to tell me about my wife and daughter, I would really appreciate it if you stayed out of my personal life." I told him seriously. He just shook his head in a defeated way and started to get up from the bar stool. "Jax, the only reason I ask about this stuff is because I care about my nieces. I know you have everything covered when it comes to protecting them but you can't always be there for them and i've noticed that happens a lot lately." I let out a groan, already having heard the same song and dance that Wayne was giving from other people. "So when you decide to stop being such an asshole to your family, then I will stop interfering. But until that happens, I will continue to grill your skinny ass." He threatened. I watched as he grabbed his hat off the bar top and started walking towards the door before turning around. "Oh and by the way, there's a new undercover FBI agent in town; the name's Walker."

**A/N: Hey guys! I know I said it would a be a little while until I updated but after seeing the awesome reviews that I achieved for the last chapter, I couldn't help but write up the next chapter. So this chapter is of you guys because you're just so incredibly awesome! So, let's get down to what happened in the update. I decided to add Jax's POV in this chapter because it kind of fit in with what was going on and it's always nice to see the other side of the story as well. Jax's POV won't always be include but it will be beneficial in some of the future chapters. Now let's discuss how Kate acted at the park. Do you think it was cry wise of her to give her number to the strange man she just met and how she's basically acting like a love struck teenager. Like I said earlier, this guy is gonna test Kate in more ways than one. And now let's talk about the big bombshell that Unser dropped at the end of the chapter. I bet you guys didn't see that coming did you? Well if you did then I applaud you:) **

**Again, I just want to say a huge thank you for everyone that reviewed, favorited, and followed the story. It means so much to me and I greatly appreciate it. In order for this story to take the pace I want it to go in, I will not be updating for another week. I have to deal with class work and regular work and I also want to get my other two SOA stories updated. I feel like i've been neglecting them a bit so I want to get a couple chapters out for the people that follow those as well. Please let me know what you thought of the update! Oh and if you haven't already, go check out what Tyler looks like on my photo bucket account for this story. The link is located on my profile page!**

**You guys rock! **


	7. Chapter 7

"Can I please get a large coffee with extra sugar?"

The barista taking my order quickly nodded her head and started ringing up my items. I had just gotten done bringing Grace to daycare and I was in desperate need of coffee right about now. I had a busy day ahead of me and I definitely wouldn't be able to do it all without a strong dose of caffeine. "That'll be 4.56, Mrs. Teller." The poor girl squeaked out. I looked at her for a second, wondering why she was practically quivering right in front of me. "Are you alright?" I asked. Her eyes immediately went to the size of saucers as she nodded her head. "Are you sure?" I asked again. She did the same head movement as before, handing me a copy of my receipt. "Have a nice day, Mrs. Teller." I simply gave her a smile, telling her thank you before walking back out onto the streets. When I opened the door to the establishment, I was met with the thing that might have given the poor girl the panic attack. "Hey babe." Jax announced, moving himself off the brick wall and strutting over to me. I was a little taken back seeing him out in public like this without any of his wingmen behind him. "What are you doing here?" Was the first thing that shot out of my mouth. "I mean, why aren't you at the garage?" He threw his cigarette down and wrapped his arm around my waist, bringing me up against his own body. People that were walking around were now looking in our direction, making me feel very uncomfortable. He brought his lips down to mine and locked them into place. "I saw your car sitting in the parking lot so I figured I would stop by and say hello." He said in between kisses. "How about we go back to the clubhouse and have some fun like we did back in the day?" More and more people were passing by us, staring as if they were looking at a car wreck. Who would have thought they would see the day when Jax Teller was seen with his wife for once but it was in a compromising position such as the one we were in right now. I was practically pinned up against the building while Jax's lips made their way down my jaw and neck. If Jax wanted to do this in private then I would be more than willing but I wasn't gonna give the folks of Charming a free show.

"Jax, people are starting to stare." I whispered, only receiving a grunt in response. "Jax, please stop." I tried to push him away but he was standing his ground. "Jax." I was getting more annoyed and he was really starting to piss me off. "Jax, stop!" I said more forcefully, finally pushing him away from me. He stared at me for a couple minutes before saying anything back. "What the hell is your problem, Kate." He yelled back, causing even more people to turn and look. I just shook my head and remained quiet, not wanting to cause even more of a scene. "I have to go." I simply whispered as I started to walk past him. Jax's hand shot up and wrapped his fingers tightly around my wrist, causing a feeling of pain to shoot through my body. "This conversation isn't finished, Kathryn." He said tightly. I immediately ripped my arm out of his grasp, making the pain feel even worse. "This conversation is finished, Jackson." I sneered back before getting into my awaiting car. I quickly pulled out of the my parking spot and sped off down the street, putting as much distance between Jax and myself.

After completing the rest of my errands and trying to forget about the little confrontation Jax and I had in the middle of town, I was now parked in front of Grace's day care center. I had already told the girls there that I would be picking Grace up earlier than usual so they would have her ready to go by the time I arrived. I exited the car and walked the short distance to the daycare and entered the facility. All the kids were in the middle of eating lunch but Grace was nowhere in sight. One of the peppy snobs that ran the place soon approached the counter, her face falling slightly when she saw it was me. "Can I help you?" She asked in her annoying California accent. I could have sworn Paris Hilton was standing before me instead of a preschool teacher. "I'm here to pick up my daughter, Grace Teller." She just nodded her head and started walking towards the back. As I waited, I watched as the kids interacted with one another. They all looked so content eating their little peanut butter sandwiches and talking about random things that toddlers talk about. "Mrs. Teller?" I turned my head towards the girls voice, "Mrs. Staton would like to have a word with you." I gave her confused look before making my way towards her. Why would the head teacher want to have a word with me? I followed the girl all the way to the back of the room and into a little office where my three year old was seated along with another child.

"Hello, Mrs. Teller." Mrs. Staton greeted me as she stood from her seat. "Please have a seat." I hesitated for a second before scooping up my daughter and taking her seat next to the little boy. Grace was her typical bubbly self, so I couldn't imagine what could be wrong. However, the little boy that I was seated next to did not look so happy. "Kate, I guess you're probably wondering why I called you in." Mrs. Staton started off. I simply nodded my head as she continued on. "Well, today during playtime your daughter and Bentley got in an argument over one of the toys. Like most children their age, sharing is still a bit foreign to them so we tried to assure them that they would both get a turn with the toy. Gracelynn was the first one with the toy so she got to play with it first, but Bentley here wasn't too keen on that idea. He grabbed the toy out of Grace's hands and started walking away but Grace decided that it was okay to get the toy back by punching Bentley in the face." I looked between my 20 something pound daughter and this Bentley kid, who was about 4 inches taller than her, trying to comprehend how my daughter could have even reached to punch this kid's face. "Since Grace did react in a violent way-"

"Violent way?" I stopped the teacher mid sentence. "Violent way? It's not like Grace attacked him; Bentley stole the toy out of her hand. I mean she could have gone about it another way but it's not like she meant to hurt him." The teacher just shook her head. She whispered something to her little assistant before turning back to me. "Grace, Bentley, Ms. Lamsy is gonna take you back out to the front for snack time while Grace's mom and I talk." I dropped my arms from Grace's little body, making sure to kiss her head before I watched her walk off. I knew that Grace absolutely did not mean to punch that kid in the face but the teachers weren't buying it.

"Mrs. Teller, Grace's behavior isn't the only reason I called you into my office today." She spoke once the kids were out of earshot. "In the last few months, the residents of Charming have been dealing with a number of emotions because of a certain group." I rolled my eyes already seeing where this was headed. "A number of the parents that have children at the center feel as though that Grace is more of a hazard than a student." My attention immediately picked up when I heard her call my daughter a hazard; what the fuck was that supposed to mean? "I've had numerous calls about your daughter's enrollment here at the center and since Grace is still a student, many of the parents have decided to start pulling their children out of the system." My jaw dropped to the floor. Was she seriously telling me that parents were pulling their children out of the daycare because of Grace? How could a three year old little girl be blamed for the decline of students? "Now I know what you must be thinking right now and I assure you that Grace is a perfect student. She gets along with almost all of the students and is just a joy to have around but it may be the people you surround her with that seem to be the problem." She said knowingly. I just sat there taking in everything she had just said. The people that I allowed to come around my daughter were becoming her downfall. What was I supposed to do? Was I just supposed to break Grace away from the people she loved the most just because a few of the parents complained? They live in fucking Charming for goodness sake. They see Jax and the guys around town all the time but they are just deciding to take it out on an innocent three year old. "Mrs. Teller, I get that your husband is a very powerful man in Charming but the parents are worried that one of your husband's enemies could come after Grace while she is here and one of the other children would get caught in the crossfires. I have to think about all my students and the best way to do that is to remove Grace from my facility."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing right now. This stupid bitch was dropping my daughter because she apparently brought danger to the other students around her. Jax was the one that brought danger around, not Gracelynn. If one of Jax's enemies wanted to hurt Grace, they wouldn't do it in a place that was full of innocent other children. "Mrs. Teller, i'm sorry for having to do this but I hope you understand where i'm com-" I placed my hand up to stop her from saying anything else. I was tired of hearing all the excuses she was throwing out. I stood up from my seat and walked out without saying a single world. My mother always told me that if I didn't have anything nice to say, then I better not talk at all. The only thing is that I never really listened to my mother but with a room full of children, I wasn't going to give these people anymore reason to think that Grace was coming from a tainted family. I was better than that and if I ever saw Mrs. Staton out on the street, maybe then I will really tell her how I felt about the whole ordeal.

I approached my daughter and gathered her up in my arms, making sure to give the helper a dirty look. "Let's go baby." I whispered in her hair as we stepped back out into the warm California air. "Mommy, where are we going?" She asked I started buckling her up in the car seat. "Are we going to see nana?" I simply nodded my head and gave her a smile before closing the door and getting into the driver's seat. I had to sit there a couple minutes to calm myself down before I could drive off towards Teller-Morrow. Why was all this happening all of a sudden? Gracelynn's been attending Charming Children's daycare facility since she's been a year old and now she wasn't allowed to come back because she posed a threat to the other children? It just didn't make any sense. I get that these parents want their children to be safe but it's not like they have to worry about their child being kidnapped or killed just because of who their father is. I live in constant worry every day that i'm gonna wake up and not find my daughter next to me or in her bed. I worry that we're going to be at the park and someone just starts shooting at us. I have to worry about those things every damn day. It doesn't help that Jax is never there to calm my fears so I have to be the one who protects Grace all the time. I sound like such a broken record but it's the God's honest truth.

Pulling into the Teller-Morrow parking lot was always such a nuisance for me. Lately, I hated to even drive by the place let alone actually go into the establishment. I already knew that Jax wasn't here but I wasn't here to see him so it didn't really matter. I placed the car in park and shuffled out so I could get Grace unbuckled. "Be still my aching heart, do my eyes deceive me or am I looking at the gorgeous Teller girls. Tig's voice rang out from the garage. "I must be dreaming right now because I never seen two beautiful girls in the same place at the same time." I let out a laugh, waving him off as I placed Grace onto the pavement. "Uncle Twig!" Grace exclaimed as she ran towards him. Tig instantly crouched down to the ground and opened his arms wide for Grace to run into. "Hey buttercup, how's it goin?" He asked once she had her tiny arms wrapped around his neck. Maybe if those snobby parents and those bitches at the daycare center actually saw how these men interact with Grace then they would see that they aren't all that dangerous at all. Tig, Chibs, Bobby, and even Happy became big teddy bears when Grace was anywhere near them. They would do anything for her and it's not just because her father is the president of their charter. Grace has been around these men since day one and tearing her away from them was something I wasn't planning on doing.

"Jax is in the church right now if you wanna talk to him." Tig said, pulling me out of my daze. "I'll take the rugrat." I just nodded my head, giving Tig's shoulder a pat as I walked by. I made my way across the lot and into the the semi-lit clubhouse. Chucky was manning the bar while a couple of the hang-arounds and croweaters engaged in whatever they engaging in. I pushed open the church doors and saw Jax sitting at the head of the table. He was twisting his rings absentmindedly around his fingers, signaling that he was thinking about something. "Hey." He looked up from his hands. "Tig told me I could find you here." I said as I took a seat next to him. "What's going on?" I was trying to make small talk because I knew he was still pissed about what happened earlier this morning.

He just looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. "What are you doing here, Kate?" He asked lowly. "I thought you had errands to run." I rolled my eyes at his childish attitude. I guess he really was still pissed about this morning's events. I ran my fingers through my hair, "Grace got kicked out daycare today." I blurted out. Jax's eyes switched from his rings to my face. "She's not allowed back." He straightened up in his chair and placed his elbows on the table, rubbing his hands up and down his face. "The teacher told me that parents were starting to complain about Grace being there because she brought a threat to their children." He let out a sigh and continued to rub his face. Maybe right now wasn't the right time to tell him all this but he needed to know. "Mrs. Staton thinks that the people I surround Grace with are a bad influence and that you guys are bringing a danger to her staff and the children that go there. Plus, you daughter socked a little boy in the face today because he stole her toy." This caused Jax to actually crack a smile which caused me to smile back. It was always nice to see him smile once in a while. "She leave a bruise?" He asked aloud. I shook my head no and the room went back to its original silence. It lasted like that for a couple more minutes before Jax finally decided to tackle a full sentence. "Listen-" He leaned up in his chair and took my left hand in his. "I'm sorry about how I acted earlier. I wasn't having the best of mornings and I took it out on you." He said sincerely. I just gave him a smile and squeezed his hand to let him know that all was forgiven. "It's okay, Jax." He smiled back and started to lean further in, magnetically pulling me in with him. Before our lips could fully touch, the doors of the church opened and in walked Tig with Grace perched on his hip. "Jax I-" Rat stopped mid sentence, his face turning bright red when he realized that he had just interrupted us. "Oh my gosh guys, I am so fucking sorry. I thou-, well Gemma told me that you were alone and well- Oh fuck, i'm sorry. I'll-" The poor thing couldn't stop rambling. Jax separated himself from me and walked over to Rat to see what was going on. The talk was very hush-hush, which was typical whenever I was around. "I'll be out in a minute." Jax said, ushering Rat out of the room and closing the doors behind him. He stuffed his hands in his pocket and with that smirk of his started making his way back towards me. "Sorry babe but i'm gonna have to take a rain check on that kiss."

I never understood it. I could never understand how he could go from doom and gloom to his normal cocky, happy self. It was like he had an on and off switch that malfunctioned every so often and would just switch itself on and off. If we are medically speaking, I would say that Jax was pretty much bipolar. He would have the craziest mood swings at any given second and then he would go back to being normal. Ever since i've known him, his moods were one thing that worried me the most. As a teenager he knew how to control them a bit and it wasn't that big of a deal but now being the president of SAMCRO was starting to make them much worse. All the stress that he was under would make them come out more frequently and they would stay around longer than usual. "Kathryn?" I snapped out of my thoughts and saw that Jax was now crouching in front of me. "Kate, are you okay. You spaced out on me there for a second." He asked worrisome. I nodded my head and gave him a small smile. "Yeah, just thinking about that kiss is all." He smiled real big and caressed my cheek softly in his rough hands. Those same hands that have killed numerous men and touched countless other women. "How about when I get back, me and you go out to dinner or something. Just the two of us. No club, no kid, and no drama; how does that sound?" The normal Jax was sitting right in front of me now but I knew later on tonight, the monster that Jax had become would be back and we wouldn't be going out to dinner.

"You look pretty,mommy." Grace gushed from her seat in the middle of the bed. "Like a fairy princess." Even though I was feeling a bit disappointed and angry, Grace's words just brought a smile to my face. I think she could tell I was upset so she made it her mission to make me feel better. "Thank you baby." I told her before getting up and joining her. It was a little past 9:00 and I already knew that Jax wasn't' going to show. Hell, I knew he wasn't gonna show when he told me about his plans. I don't even know why I bothered getting dress up; I should have just stayed in my pajamas. I slipped my heels off my feet and curled up next to Grace. She instantly situated herself in my side and looked ahead at the television. I didn't bother calling Gemma or anyone to come and watch Grace because I already knew that there was no need for that. I wasn't gonna have Gemma come all the way over for nothing. It pissed me off so bad that Jax convinced me that he was going to actually show tonight but like always he was MIA. I still can't believe that I thought he was being truthful for once. "Mommy, can we have some hot chocolate?" Grace asked while still watching the movie. I knew that it was a little late for her to have anything with chocolate. "Baby, it's a little late for that. How about a glass of warm milk instead? She just nodded her head. I placed a kiss on her forehead before moving off the bed. I exited the room and started descending down the stairs when I saw Jax creeping through the front door. He slowly turned around and the sight before me made my stomach churn. His shirt and jeans were covered in blood and little splatters of red covered his face, neck, and arms. I didn't know whether it was his blood or that of another person's. By the look of him, it had to have been someone elses. "Sorry i'm late." He spoke horsley. "Something came up." I just shook my head, letting out a loud sigh and made my way back up the stairs forgetting all about the warm milk.

**A/N: Hey guys! **

**It's been like a week and a half since I last updated and I swear I was going through withdraws the whole time! I had to study for my anatomy test and all that jazz but I made time to write here and there so I could get something out to you guys. This update was just a little bit more of an insider on how Jax and Kate's relationship is falling apart more and more each day. I also wanted to show how the public felt about Jax and the guys so you got some information about that as well. It defiantly will not be the last time you hear from the public about Jax or even Grace for that matter. The next update is gonna be a bit of a ****whirlwind, Tyler will be joining us once again and he will also be planning a visit to SAMCRO…. Just let that sink in for a couple seconds :) Tyler and Kate's relationship is going to be getting stronger and like i've been saying, he's going to make Kate question a lot of things. I also have a few more details to add about the next update but I will just keep those to myself lol. I really appreciate each and ever one you that commented, followed, and favorited this story. I got such awesome feedback last chapter and I can't wait to see what you all think about this one as well. **

**Until next time :) **

**P.S. Sorry if there are any mistakes, I will try to go back and fix them. **


	8. Chapter 8

"_Ladies and gentleman, I would just like to welcome all of you to the Charming Little Dancer's Fall 2013 dance recital. Your beautiful daughters have worked so hard the past two weeks and when they step on stage, you will definitely see their hard work and dedication." I let out a sigh as the dance teacher droned on and on about random things about what the older students would be doing later on. As I was looking around, I noticed that I was the only other person sitting in the front row. All the other parents were sitting behind me, trying their best to pay full attention to the teacher but their mind was more preoccupied with the person sitting next to me. Jackson Teller finally decided to grace us with his presence and even I was shocked to see him walk through the auditorium doors. I had left the house thinking that Jax wasn't going to show and Grace had that feeling as well. I mean why should she think that her father was actually going to come when he hasn't been to any other recitals. _

"_What time is this thing supposed to start?" Jax asked, keeping his gaze locked on the teacher. I checked my watch and saw that it wasn't working. I tapped on it a few times to see if that would get it going but it just stood still. I then decided to pull my phone out of my bag and to see what the time, not really thinking anything of my dead watch. I pushed on the lock button and nothing happened. I pushed on it again and there was still nothing. I knew that my phone was on and fully charged because I had just gotten done talking to Penelope before I came into the building. "Kate, what time is it?" Jax asked again, this time turning to look at me. I simply shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know; my phone and watch aren't working." I was a bit confused now. I could understand why my watch wouldn't work but why wasn't my phone working? _

"_And now without further ado, I would like to present to you the Charming Little Dancer's rendition of Hocus Pocus." The lights immediately started to dime and the curtains began to pull back revealing little Grace front and center. I couldn't help but smile as I saw her start off the dance and have all the other dancers follow her lead. I turned to look at Jax and saw that his face was resembling that of a stoned statue. He wasn't grinning from ear to ear like I was, hell he wasn't even close to smiling. "What's the matter?" I leaned over to ask over the sound of the music. I looked over to the direction that Jax was staring at and saw a lone person standing at the side of the stage, trying his best not to be seen. "Jax, who is that." This time I grabbed a hold of his arm trying to get his attention focused on me. "Jackson!" I started shaking him but he pushed me away before leaping out of his seat, taking the gun that was hidden in it's holder out and pointing at the strange man. The whole place immediately erupted in panic. Parents were jumping out of their seats in order to get their child out of harms way and other bystanders ran for their lives towards the exit. I watched in horror as bullets flew by in slow motion and my husband dodging every single one of them. It wasn't until then that I realized that Grace was no where to be found. I went into instant panic mode and shot up from my seat and started running towards the stage. As I got closer and closer, I saw the child just standing up there watching as the chaos enveloped her. _

_I was almost the the steps of the stage when a single gunshot rang out from Jax's gun and whizzed past me and straight into Grace's tiny body. It was like my world had just stopped as I watched her tiny body fall to the ground. When Grace's bloody body fell to the hard floor, that was when the gunshots stopped and the only person left was Jax and I. The man that was in here before was no longer visible and my daughter was still bleeding to death. I felt like I was in the Godfather Part Three where Michael sees that Mary has been shot and he's rendered speechless. I felt like I didn't have the ability to speak anymore because I couldn't even say my own daughter's name or scream for help. I watched as Jax dropped his gun, running up to where Grace was located and wrapping her in his arms. He kept repeating her name over and over again, trying his best to get her to respond but there was no use. _

"_Look what you've done." I croaked out. Jax's tearful eyes looked up at me. "You killed her; you killed my baby!" I screamed. Jax just continued to sit there, getting bloodier and bloodier as the time wore 's face was just blank. It was blank because he realized he had just killed his own child. He just killed the person that meant the most to him. He had just killed his little girl. I ran up the stage steps and took Grace's body out of Jax's arms and roughly pushed him out of the way. "You're a monster; you're a fucking monster, Jackson!" _

I instantly rose up in the bed gasping for any sort of air. Never in my life have I had such a vivid dream like the one I just experienced. Everything that was involved with the nightmare seemed so lifelike and real. Grace's cold, dead body felt real. The bullets whizzing by my head felt real. And everything about Jax felt real. I had just watched my own husband, my man I was madly in love with, kill my entire world. Was this supposed to be an omen of what was to come? Was I really going to witness Jax kill his own child? I let out a loud sigh before exiting my bed and walking down the hall to where Grace's room was located. I quietly pushed open the door and saw my pride and joy fast asleep surrounded by all her stuffed animals. She looked so peaceful and content. She didn't know that everything around her was going all to hell or that he father was more dangerous than she ever thought he could be. She didn't realize that she had a target on her back just because she was Jax Teller's daughter. The only thing she knew was that all the people around her loved her more than words and that they were just normal, everyday people.

After five minutes of just staring into her room, I slowly closed the door and began to make my way down the steps. It was a little after 6 in the morning and I already knew that I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep. I decided that know was the perfect time to start getting breakfast ready. As I stepped off the last step, I saw Jax's bare upper body leaning against the counter with a steaming cup of coffee in sitting in front of him. I guess the couch wasn't comfortable enough to provide a good nights rest. "Morning." I sounded out as I walked past him and over to the fridge. He just let out a grunt and continued to sip his coffee. The kitchen was silent once again as we both went about our own things. It wasn't until a couple minutes later that Jax finally decided to actually talk. "Why ya up so early?" I just shrugged my shoulders, not really wanting to tell him the real reason I was up before the crack of dawn. "I guess I couldn't sleep." I answered back, pouring him another cup of coffee. "What about you; why are you up so early?" He looked me square in the eye as he took another gulp of his drink. I already knew why he was up so early. I wouldn't enjoy sleeping on the couch either but that's what happens when you piss me off. "So, what's on the agenda today?" I quickly changed the subject. He let out a sigh and plucked one of his cigarettes out from it's carton. "I have to go back to Lodi and make sure everything's settled." I watched from the stove as he lit the end of the cigarette and took a long drag from it. The only time he did that was when he was extra stressed about something and I didn't think it had anything to do with the Lodi ordeal. After all, it seems like the Lodi problem was splattered all over his body last night. "So what are you up to today?" I shrugged my shoulder as I continued to flip the pancakes over. "I don't know. I thought about taking her shopping for some of her party supplies but I haven't made up my mind yet." Grace's birthday was only a month away and since it was so close to halloween, she was adamant on having a costume party. I thought that was a great idea but I was starting to regret it now. I would have to get all these decorations and try to convince a bunch of outlaw bikers to come decked out in a costume. I think they would be on board to do it since it was for Grace but it was going to take some convincing first.

"I can't believe she's gonna be four already." Jax muttered out, stubbing his cigarette in the ashtray. "I feel like i've missed so much of her life." I could see that he was really bothered by the words that had just come out of his mouth. He was speaking the honest truth. He had missed out on a lot of her life and he was finally starting to realize now. Right before Grace turned a year old, Jax was sent to prison for 14 months and missed out on things like her first word and seeing her walk all over the place. He missed her first birthday and all the things that come along with that. When he got out he was his normal self but as the shit with Clay began to get worse and worse, that was when Jax started to neglect us even more. All the guys would be at Grace's activities or birthdays but they weren't her father. Yeah, she knew them as her uncles but having her father there was much more important. "Have you ever thought about having another baby?" He asked seriously. "Like would you consider having another kid?" His question sent shock waves throughout my body. Jax wanted another baby? He wanted to bring another life into this madness? "Kate, please answer my question." He pleaded, seeing that his question had brought me to silence. I cleared my throat and walked over to where he was seated. "Jax, I really don't know. Seeing what Grace has gone through throughout the years makes me think that the idea of having a second child is just a no go." I could see my answer wasn't the one he wanted to hear. He had just sat there and said that he missed so much of Grace's life and he wanted to hear that I was all for having another child…. Was he really serious?

"So just because i've made some mistakes in the past when it comes to Grace, you don't wanna have another child?" He was furious. The situation went from bad to worse in the course of 10 seconds. "Just because I fucked up a couple times when it comes to Grace, you won't give me another kid?" I let out a deep-seated sigh and ran my fingers through my hair. "What if I wanted another kid, Kate? What if I wanted to have a clean slate when it comes to parenting? I can't do that with Grace anymore. Fuck, the kid remembers everything now and won't stop asking me if i'll be home tonight or if i'm gonna be at some fucking recital!" My jaw instantly dropped to the floor. He was talking about his own child as if she was a stranger off the damn street! "Jax, do you even hear yourself right now? You're talking about your own daughter as if you don't even know her. She doesn't ask those questions just to fucking ask them, Jax. She asks them because she wants to see her father and not have to go days without seeing him. And about the fucking recitals, she is the only little girl there that doesn't have her father watching her with pride and love from the audience. You wouldn't know this but Grace's dance classmates ask her why her daddy isn't in the audience. They ask her if she even has a dad, Jax. Do you know what it's like to have to see my daughter get upset because of your actions? No, you don't because you don't even care." I was so fucking livid at this point that I was practically shaking with anger. "And now you want to have another kid to be able to have a clean slate? Even if I was all for having another baby, once that child comes into this world, you'll be MIA just like you were with Grace. I will have to explain the reasons as to why you aren't at a recital or a game just like I do with Grace. I'll have to go through everything that I went through with Grace so far with a new son or daughter, and I really don't have the strength to see another kid cry themselves to sleep again. The only reason you want another child is because you want a son. You want a son that will carry on the Teller name and take over the club when you dead and gone. You want someone that is just like you even though Grace is the spitting image of you, you need a son that you can train and teach all the values that SAMCRO are all about. If you want another child, go call up one of your whores because i'm not gonna give you one." And with that I exited the kitchen and went back up the stairs, leaving Jax sitting there more pissed off than before.

A couple hours later and after cleaning up the mess that Jax made during his temper-tantrum,Grace and I were now on our way to San Francisco to begin getting the supplies for her party. I know that San Francisco was a long way to go to get supplies but I was also gonna make a little girl's day out of it as well. I figured that she at least deserved something after the week she had. "Mommy, what are you gonna be for my party?" She asked from the backseat. We had talked a little about what our costumes were going to be, Grace deciding that she wanted to be Dorothy. "Are you going to be Dorothy too?" I let out a laugh as I turned onto the interstate. "I can't be Dorothy if you're going to be Dorothy, silly. How about I be the Wicked Witch of the West, how does that sound?" She quickly nodded her head, telling me that she liked that idea. She continued to talk about her party and how she wanted everyone there to be dressed up. I of course agreed with everything she said since this was her party. I wanted her to have the best birthday party and I was going to do anything to make that possible.

About an hour later, I parked the car in the parking lot of the party supplies shop and shut the vehicle off. I exited the car and opened the back door and started getting a very sleepy three year old out of her car seat. Somewhere along the way, she just passed out and has been sleeping ever since. "Grace, sweetheart, it's time to get up." I said as I pulled her out of the carseat and positioned her on my hip. She muttered something incoherently and nuzzled her face into my neck. I was hoping this wouldn't happen because running errands with a sleepy, cranky three year old is a recipe for disaster. I grabbed my bag out of the back seat as well before shutting the door and making my way to the store's entrance. It was your typical Halloween store, decked out in scary mask and haunted decorations. I pulled a shopping cart out of its hanger and gently placed Grace onto the child seat. She let out a little whimper at first but after checking her surroundings, she finally realized that we had reached our destination. "Mommy, this stuff is scary." She said with a yawn. "I don't want scary things at my party." I just nodded my head, telling her that all the scary things weren't invited. "Okay munchkin, the first thing we need to get is your costume." I told her as I steered the cart down the row of isles looking for the toddler section. "Aha, here it is." I turned the cart down the percise isle and started looking for the right outfit. There were all kinds of children costumes ranging from Mickey Mouse to witches and vampires. When I finally spotted the blue and white attire, I let out a sigh of relief. I was kind of nervous coming into the store and not finding the right costume. There are so many different choices when it comes to a Dorothy costume. Some just came with the dress while others came with the whole shabang. The costume that was staring back at me now had everything that I needed. It had the dress, the bows, the shoes, the basket, and even Toto. "Is this the one you want, Grace?" I asked her as I held it up so she could get a good look at it. She nodded her head with a satisfied smile on her face. "Let's go find your costume now, mommy." I threw the item into the cart and started off to find the adult costumes. I had to go through rows and rows of clothes to find the right kind of Wicked Witch costume. There were sexy witch costumes and I wasn't going to my three year old's party dressed like I belonged in front of the cameras like a CaraCara girl. "There's one." Grace shouted out, pointing to the perfect costume. I stopped the cart in front of it and plucked it off the rack, making sure to check if this was the real deal or not. It had everything the witch wore in the movie and was the perfect complement to Grace's outfit. "Mommy, are you sure you want to be the witch? You're too pretty to be the wicked witch." I turned my attention back to her and saw that she was staring right at me. I could feel tears start springing up in my eyes. I'm not just saying this because she's my child and she paid me a compliment, but Grace was probably the most kindest and sweetest kid i've ever met. I know that I was nothing like Grace when I was her age or even as a child myself. The little girls in her dance class definitely nothing like her. I guess that just goes to show that the way i'm raising her was actually working out. I was a very proud mother at this point!

I caressed her little cheek and placed a sloppy, wet kiss upon it. "Have I ever told you how much I love you and that I am so happy to be your mommy?" She gave me one of her famous Grace smiles and laid a kiss upon my cheek as well. "I love you, mommy." I looked at her and smiled and replied, "I love you too, baby." We finished our little love fest in the adult aisle and went on to see what else they had decoration wise. We managed to get a couple things to start off the collection, deciding to get the rest as the party grows closer. I checked my watch and saw that it was nearing 2:00 in the afternoon and I knew that Grace had to be getting hungry. I pushed the cart next to the car and got her out first, placing her in the carseat and buckling her back in. "What do you want for lunch, baby?" She shrugged her little shoulder. "Do you want to sit down somewhere or do you just wanna eat in the car?" She decided that she wanted to eat in the car. I just nodded my head and closed her door and entered the driver's side and started up the car. I was about to pull out of the parking lot when my phone started to ring. I quickly grabbed the phone out of my bag and saw a name I wasn't expecting to see light up across the screen. I pressed the talk button, "Hello." I said weary.

"Hello, Kate?" His smooth voice flowed through the speaker and into my ear. "It's Tyler, how are you?" I checked the rearview mirror to see if Grace was listening or not and saw that she was preoccupied with the movie playing in front of her. "Grace?" Tyler's voice flooded back into my ears, sending shivers down my spine. I cleared my throat and finally spoke back. "Yes, I-i'm good. How are you?" I was trying my best not to say his name in case that sparked Grace's attention but it was becoming hard not too. "I'm good, just hanging out around the house." I nodded my head like he could really see it. I pulled on my seatbelt and started the car, pressing the phone into my shoulder. "So what have you been up to today; anything exciting?" He asked casually? I don't exactly recall the moment when we became good friends but the conversation between us was just flowing for some reason. I barely knew the guy and here he was asking me what i've done all day and I was perfectly okay with that. It was like talking to Penelope or Jordan. For a conversation between Jax and I to stay afloat, one of us had to be yelling to get a reaction out of the other. If no yelling was occurring then the conversation was as stale as a bag of chips. It wasn't always like that but that's how it was nowadays. I was brought back to my conversation with Tyler, deciding to answering his question. "Well, I decided to treat Grace to a little mommy-daughter day and take a trip down to San Francisco for some party shopping. I had to get Grace's halloween/birthday party costume and we picked up mine as well." I heard him let out a chuckle as he asked me what exactly my costumed entailed. I explained to his that I was following in Grace's Dorothy theme by transforming into the Wicked Witch of the West. "Well, you are gonna make a beautiful wicked witch." I instantly started to blush at his compliment. It made me feel all giddy inside, like a little school girl or something. "So, the real reason I called you was to see if you wanted to have some coffee or tea this later on today. I completely understand if you're busy and everything with Grace but I would love to see you." My heart started to beat even faster. He would love to see me? Another man besides my husband would love to see me. The last time Jax was actually happy to see me was several months ago and I don't even think he was truly happy then. It actually felt nice to know that someone was going to be happy to see you. It didn't hurt that that person was someone like Tyler. I checked the rearview mirror once again and saw that Grace still wasn't paying me any mind. I let out a sigh and gave Tyler my answer. "I would love too."

The moment that I realized that I had agreed to meet Tyler for coffee was the moment I pulled into the parking lot of the local coffee shop. I had dropped Grace off at Gemma's since I couldn't bring her with me but it was starting to eat me alive inside that I ditched my daughter for a stranger. A handsome, charming, and kind stranger. None of that really went through my mind as I drove here. I was at peace with everything and then I pull into the spot and everything hits me. I'm about to have coffee with a random guy I have just met, who I might secretly have a little crush on. I'm allowed to have crushes, right? Married men and women crush on people all the time but it doesn't mean they actually do anything with them. Oh God, am I the only one who does that? I shook my head to clear my thoughts and started getting my things ready to go inside. I pulled my sunglasses over my eyes and exited the car, making sure to look around incase someone I knew was near. Once the coast was clear, I calmly walked to the door and saw Tyler sitting in the first booth on the left. My heart once again started to beat erratically as I stepped through the threshold and was greeted by one of the hostesses. I told her that I was meeting a friend and was told just to go on. I already knew where he was seated but I took my time trying to find, not to seem like I was anxious or anything. When he finally did spot me, his face lit up like a Christmas tree and i'm not gonna lie because mine did too. "Hey." He greeted, getting up from the booth. "I was getting a bit worried; thought you weren't gonna show up." We both let out a laugh as he waited for me to slide into my seat before getting back into his. I pulled my glasses off my face and placed them back into my bag. "I had to drop my daughter off at her grandmother's so that was a bit of an ordeal." He nodded his head in understanding. "Have you ordered yet?" I asked just as the waitress come walking over. "Oh, perfect timing." I smiled. Tyler quickly called out his order of a black coffee and I answered back with just wanting a cup of tea. "Is that all you want?" Tyler asked concerned. I just nodded my head and the waitress hurried off to start getting the orders ready. "So how was your day out with your daughter?" He asked genuinely. "Did she like the city by the bay?" Oh this guy right now! If he was acting like he really cared how Grace and I's day was then he was a damn good actor. "It was almost perfect actually. We went shopping for her party stuff and then we went and got some lunch. She insisted we eat in the car for some reason but I parked the car in front of the bay and we had a delicious deli feast in front of the water." His smile got even bigger as I went on. "As for her liking the area, well I guess you would have to ask her that. Grace isn't too keen on new places but she seemed to enjoy it as much as a three year old does." We both laughed once again. Just like last time we were together, I could not stop smiling. He just brought out this happiness in me and it felt very foreign to me. I just wasn't use to be talked too and treated this way. "Did your husband tag along or was it just you and Grace." The slight mention of my husband instantly brought my mood down a notch. I simply shook my head, "Jax had to work so he wasn't able to come with us." He always had to work or do something more important than Grace and I. "Your husband's a mechanic right?" He asked taking a sip of his fresh cup of coffee. I followed his lead and took a sip of my tea as well. "Yeah, he works at his family's auto shop. Gosh, he's been working there longer than we've been together. It's like he has this kind of connection with a car and an ever bigger one with a motorcycle." I was about to take another sip of my tea when Tyler reached across the table and grabbed a hold of my hand. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone inside the cafe at the time heard my heart beating out of my chest. Jolts of electricity coursed through my hand as he began to rub his thumb across the top of my hand. He leaned forward and looked straight into my eyes and asked me something I was not expecting. "Does he have the same connection he has with his motorcycle with you? Does he tell you how lucky he is to have such a gorgeous and caring wife that any man would kill to have? Does he really appreciate you, Katie?"

**A/N:  
Hello readers!  
SO…. what do y'all think? This chapter was going in all sorts of directions. You had the awful dream at the beginning. Then Jax and Kate's argument about having another baby. Then, you have Kate and Grace having mommy/daughter moments. ****And the grand finale gives you the greatness that is Tyler. Oh and btw, I changed how I wanted Tyler to look. I was all for Kenny Johnson playing Tyler but then I thought about it and I decided that I want him to be closer in age to Kate. So, you can once again visit the photobucket account and see that Tyler is now being played by the gorgeous, Tom Hardy! He won't be british because that would just throw the story off a bit but still it's Tom Hardy! I would love to hear what you guys thought about the update. Did you love it, like it, hate it because Kate's getting won over by Tyler? Oh, I have huge plans for Mr. Tyler…. I also made the update a bit longer because I figured you guys deserved it and I just couldn't stop writing. I guess that's a good thing, right? **

**For the next update, expect to see the impact that Tyler's words had on Kate and how she responds. I had to leave it a a cliffhanger but that's what makes it exciting. I will try to update again next Tuesday but I have a lab exam so I don't exactly know if that will happen. I do go on Fall break next week so if I don't get it out on Tuesday then expect it out sometime during the week. The next update will have Jax's POV once again and he might or might not be meeting Mr. Walker…. I have to decide! Just expect there to be some drama as usually between Kate and Jax and some other people as well. I hope you guys enjoy the rest of your Tuesday and enjoy this weeks update! **

**Oh and I realized that the Polyvore account for this story was not on my profile like I told you all it was. Well, it is now up and running and waiting for your visit if you want to see the outfits :) I'm also sorry for the mistakes in the update and this Author's note. I'm in a bit of a hurry because I can't wait to get this out to you! **

**ENJOY!**


	9. Chapter 9

I was completely speechless and a little breathless as well by everything that Tyler just said.I never had someone, especially a stranger ask me those kind of questions. Hell, hardly anyone asked me about Jax and I's relationship; well except Gemma of course. Tyler practically hit the nail on the fucking head. The last time I heard Jax even come close to saying any of those things was around the time Grace was born. I mean he's said things but I could tell that his heart wasn't fully feeling what was coming out of his mouth. Maybe Jax and Tyler should meet up so Jax can learn a thing or to on how to treat his wife.

"I didn't mean to get personal but I hate to see a beautiful woman like yourself not be appreciated for everything that you do. You're a wonderful mother to a gorgeous little girl. You do everything for your family and you make sure everyone but yourself is happy. Shouldn't you be happy too, Katie." He called me Katie again. The only people that ever called me Katie was Jax and my parents but hearing him say it just made my heart flutter. I was about to answer him back when I just so happened to look towards the exit and saw one of the CaraCara girls walk in looking like she just got done walking the street. I quickly jerked my hand out of his and started gathering my stuff. "Kate - Kate are you okay?" Tyler asked worriedly. I slammed a couple bills down for the tea and stood up from the booth, still trying not to be seen by the whore. "Uh, I ha-I have to go." I started walking towards the door before Tyler had a chance to stand up and I safely made it out the door without being seen. "Oh my God, that was close." I told myself as I got in my car and closed the door. I started the engine and made my way back onto the road towards Gemma's house. Everything that had just happened was racing through my mind. From the words that Tyler spoke to the realisation that I could have just gotten caught talking with another man that wasn't Jax or any of the guys. If that tramp was to see me, she would be hauling ass back to the porn studio and telling Jax all about it. Sometimes I wish my husband lead a normal life that didn't involve murder or porn stars….

I made it to Gemma's about 15 minutes later and noticed that Jax's bike was parked right behind Gemma's cadillac. I let out a held in breath and exited the car, slowly making my way up to the door. I didn't bother knocking because it was Gemma's house afterall. "Hello?" I called out as I walked toward the smell of cigarette smoke. "We're in here, sweetheart." Gemma's voice called out. I rounded the corner and saw Jax sitting with his back turned to me and Gemma facing him. "Look what the cat dragged in." Gemma smiled, causing Jax to turn around. "We were just talking about you." I gave her a small smile already figuring out what they were probably talking about. I took a seat in the middle of Gem and Jax, "Where's Grace?" Jax pointed his cigarette towards the backyard where I saw Grace swinging on the swingset that Nero had bought for her. "How was your coffee date with Jordan?' I looked over at Gemma and just shrugged my shoulder. I had told her that Jordan called me on my way home, asking me to meet her for coffee because she was having an internal crisis. I clearly couldn't tell her that I was meeting another man other than her son. "Did she get her internal crisis averted?" I just nodded my head and looked out towards the backyard to watch Grace. The air between Jax and I was clearly tense since we haven't talked since our blow-out this morning. "So, how did the costume search go?" Gemma asked trying to clear the air of awkwardness. "I heard you're gonna be the wicked witch and Grace is gonna be Dorothy." Gemma slightly grimaced at the thought of her precious granddaughter dressing up as someone as sweet and innocent as Dorothy. "I hope you don't plan on me dressing up like Glenda because that shit isn't gonna fly." I let out a chuckle already picturing how Gemma would look decked out in the pink ensemble. "I wouldn't dare do that to you, Gem." I assured her before getting up and walking towards the sink to get a drink of water. The room fell silent once again, allowing the tension to set in once again. "I have to go; gotta get back to the garage." Jax finally sounded, stubbing out his cigarette before standing up. "You sure you don't want anything to eat before you go, baby?" Gemma asked her son as she stood up as well. I just stood there and watched everything go down almost as if I was the wallpaper. "No, that's okay." Jax answered her, placing a kiss on her cheek. He looked over at me and held his hand out for me to take. I slowly placed my hand in his and allowed him to lead me out of Gemma's house and over to where his bike was. "What's going on?" I asked. He released my hand and placed them onto my hips to bring me closer to his body as he leaned against the bike. "I want to take you out tonight." He told me as he stroked my hand with his calloused fingers. I rolled my eyes and shook my head because I had already heard that whole song and dance. It just happened the other night. "I'm being serious, Katie. I want to make it up to you after I bailed the other night." He told me sincerely. "I've already asked Chibs and Bobby to look after Grace while we're gone."

Everytime he promised me that he was going to take me out, the plans would end up being stopped by whatever business Jax got caught up in. Last time it was the Lodi incident that brought him home covered in someone elses blood. There was no telling what it would end up being tonight. "So what do you say?" Jax's fingers rubbed gently against my sides. I removed my eyes from the ground and connected them with the blues that I knew and loved. "You better not be late." I smirked. He returned the smile and pulled me flush against his body, wrapping me up in a hug. "I pinky promise." He grinned as he placed his lips upon mine. As our lips moved together, I could feel the spark that was once there reigniting again. It had been missing for a while now but there was something about this kiss that actually felt genuine. "I'll be there to pick you up around 7:30." I just nodded my head and pecked his lips one last time. I gave him one last smile before retreating back into the house to get Grace ready for our journey home.

Jax's POV

I watched as she sauntered back into the house, making me crave her even more than before. There was something about that woman that just drove me wild every time I saw her. The way she walked, talked, and everything else about her was absolutely perfect. She knew how to handle herself like a true old lady but I was treating her like a typical old man. Ever since i've been young, I have watched couples come and go, some defining the test of time and actually staying together. I've watched men treat their old ladies like shit and then go over to some hang-around or croweater and treat them like gold. I told myself that I would never do that to my girlfriend or wife but I guess that plan got shot to hell. I treated the girls at SAMCRO and CaraCara like they were prized possessions while my real prizes were sitting at home waiting for me to come home. I don't know whether I just got bored with how my personal life was turning out or the fact that I practically had to beg Kate to give me some type of affection. She was so busy with other things other than me that I guess I just started to look affection in all the wrong places. The girls that surrounded themselves around the club were nothing but your common whores and pornstars. The whores were looking for affection and willing to get it from anyone and the pornstars were experts at giving affection. Either way, I was getting it from someone other than Kate and that was a problem. What would happen if one of those girls caught some kind of disease and I go home and force my wife into having sex with me and I spread it to her? What would happen if something goes wrong and the condom breaks or the bitch forgot to take her birth control? How would I explain those things to Kate; she would be devastated?

I finally pulled into the parking lot of the clubhouse and saw that we were having a little visit from the always pleasant sheriff's department. I wasn't really in the mood to deal with these assholes right now but the quicker I get in there and find out what's going on, the quicker they get the hell off my property. I dismounted my bike and swaggered over to the front door, stepping in to find all my guys and the Charming Police inhabiting the front room. "What's going on?" I asked loudly to get everyone's attention. The chatter came to a halt and everyone turned to look at me. "What the hell is going on?" I asked again. The new sheriff walked towards me with some strange guy trailing behind her. "Hello again, Mr. Teller." She sounded out. I gave her a head nod but kept my gaze on the man standing behind her. She must have caught on since she then decided to introduce him. "Jax, this is Detective Tyler Walker. Detective, this is Jackson Teller." The detective stepped out from behind Jarry, "It's nice to meet you, President Teller." He sneered as he reached his hand out for a handshake. I looked down at his hand and then back up to his face before walking towards my guys. "Mr. Teller, Detective Walker is here to ask you and your men a few questions regarding the disappearance of a coule gang members up in Lodi."

I looked around at the guys and just shrugged my shoulder as if I wasn't sure what we were being questioned about. "I can already tell you that all my guys, including myself, were all at home all this week. We haven't been to Lodi in months." I could give a rats ass if the fucker believed me because I was telling the truth. All of my guys except Happy and Ratboy, who were not present right now, were at their respected residence and I was back at my house by 9:30. We all had alibis and the precious detective could choke on it. Speaking of the prick, he quickly cleared his throat and started stepping towards me. "Well, if you and your brood of bikers are innocent then you will have no problem answering my questions." I just rolled my eyes and pushed past him, heading towards the back rooms. I pushed open the door and took a seat, waiting for the bastard to start the interrogation. He finally came through the door, alone, and holding a stack of folders. "What are those?" I asked, causing a grin to appear of his face. He lined the packed folders across the table while keeping the same grin plastered on his smug face. "Mr. Teller, I understand that the last detective who came through Charming basically fell off the face of the earth and was never seen or heard from again. Can you tell me if that is a fact or just a couple of the guys pulling my leg?" He was now leaning against the table with his arms crossed against his chest. I simply shrugged my shoulders as I did earlier, "I guess Stahl got tired of the life; had a bit too much blood on her hands." He nodded his head as if he was agreeing with me. "I'm sure you know a thing or two about getting blood on your hands, Mr. Teller." He moved off the table and over to one of the folders, grabbing it off the table and revealing the contents. "I understand that your father was the one who started SAMCRO, is that true?" I nodded my head. "And that your step-father, Clay Morrow, was also one of the originals." I once again nodded my head. "How old were you when you started getting involved with the club?" He asked.

"I've always been somewhat invovled i-"

"How old were you when you got inducted into the club, Mr. Teller?" He asked again, cutting me off. I was starting to get pissed off now. "When did you get the kutte you are wearing now?" He had a huge stack of papers and whatever else was in the folder, shouldn't it say something about it in there? I let out a sigh, "I guess when I was 16 or 17." I stated. He started walking around the room, reading the papers that were inside the folder. "It says here that your father was killed in a motorcycle accident when you around that age. I also see that was the time you got together with your wife, Kathryn." My head snapped up at the mentioning of Kate. "I thought this was about what went down in Lodi and not my personal life?" I seethed out. I wasn't going to allow some detective to talk about my personal life like he's known me for the past 34 years that i've been alive. "Kate has nothing to do with this club or what goes on right now."

He slowly sauntered over to where I was sitting and started taking the papers out of the folder and laying them down right in front of me. The papers that were staring back at me weren't papers at all but pictures of Kate through the years. "Kathryn Lauren Thompson. Born January 25th, 1982 to Victoria and Bradley Thompson in Lexington, Kentucky. She is the older sister of Jordanna Noel Thompson, who was born on August 9th, 1988." I looked down at the pictures that were sitting in front of me, showing me Kate from birth up to the time she was 5 or 6. I couldn't help but think I was looking at Grace's baby pictures the whole time. She looked so much like Kate. "On March 20th, 1995, Kathryn enrolled at Charming High. She was a member of the junior high basketball team and also a member of the honor society. Two months later was the first time you, Jackson Teller, sank your teeth into her." He slammed down a new photo and a blast of nostalgia hit me. The picture showed a much younger version of myself and a beautiful, bubbly younger version of Kate. I had my arms wrapped around her small frame as her back was pressed against my front. We both had huge smiles on our faces and we actually looked happy. I could still remember the first time I ever saw Kate. She was in the middle of basketball practice and I was skipping class as usual. I remember watching her as she ran up and down the court and I was instantly intrigued. She may have been just 13 years old but I knew at that moment she was going to drive me wild. She was in junior high and I was some horny 10th grader that wanted nothing more than to show her a good time. After the practice got finished I approached her and started to make small talk. I learned her name and a couple of other things but the most important thing I learned was that she wasn't like the rest of the girls. She was way more mature than any of her classmates, hell she was more mature than most of the croweaters at the clubhouse. She was extremely smart but not the kind of smart that rubbed it in your face.

It took me a month or two to finally persuade her to take a ride with me. I had everyone breathing down my neck, trying to tell me that bringing her into this world was a bad idea. I was told that she wasn't old lady material but most of all, Kate was way too young for me to be dealing with. All the hang-arounds and croweaters were trying their best to get my attention off of her and onto them but it just wasn't working. The moment Kate climbed on the back of my motorcycle was the moment I knew that she was the one. She liked me for me and not because of who I was or what I represented. Fuck, the poor girl didn't even know who SAMCRO was and I was completely okay with that. I kept the club away from her just like I still try to do today. "Am I bringing back some memories, Teller?" Walker asked taking the picture away and replacing it with another one. "How'd it feel when your lovely girlfriend gave up her scholarship to attend Washington State University? How did it feel to know you just ruined her life by begging her to stay here and deal with the shit you've put her through. How does it feel to know that your daughter is going to find out what a heartless, murderous, monster you really are?" He held up a picture of Kate and Grace that had to have been taken the other day. "You're sucking two beautiful girls into the wormhole of violence and bloodshed. What's going to happen when one of them is on the receiving end of all of that? I pushed myself out of the chair and stormed out of the room. I was beyond livid right now. That asshole didn't want to question me about what went down in Lodi, no he wanted to bring up everything I did wrong when it came to my family. How he got all that information and pictures of Kate was beyond me but I was going to find out. I could hear the guys hollering my name but I just ignored them and hopped on my bike to head home. I promised Kate a night out and I was gonna live up to that promise.

Kate's POV

I must have tried on seven dresses before I found the one I truly felt comfortable in. I couldn't just wear any old dress because this was a special occasion that I was afraid wouldn't happen again. It's not everyday your husband ask you out for dinner; well for me it wasn't at least. "Mommy, Uncle Bobby won't let me have a cookie." Grace whined as she entered my room. "He says I have to eat my dinner first but I don't like what he cooked." She climbed the stepstool that gave her access to the bed and plopped her little body down. I couldn't help but chuckle as I made my way over to her. "Well, what did Uncle Bobby cook for you?" I pulled her into my arms and placed her down on my lap. She let out a dramatic sigh, "He made chicken but it isn't like the kind you make, mommy." I just nodded my head in understanding. "He told me that if I eat all my chicken then I would be able to have a cookie but it's too yucky to eat." She curled up against my chest started playing with my necklace. "Can you tell him that it's okay to have cookies for dinner?" She jutted out her bottom lip, hoping that would convince me to let Bobby know that cookies were on Grace's dinner menu.

I laughed again as I placed a kiss against her forehead. "Baby, Uncle Bobby worked very hard to make you that chicken and if you don't eat it then it might hurt his feelings." I explained to her. "We don't want to hurt Bobby's feelings now do we?" She slowly shook her head no. "Now, how about we go back downstairs and finish eating dinner?" I suggested as I placed her back onto the floor. She smoothed down her little dress and reached out for me to take her hand. I grabbed a hold of her hand and let her lead the way down to the kitchen. When we reached the kitchen, Bobby was in the middle of cleaning up and Chibs was sitting at the table reading an old magazine. "Hey guys." I said as I placed Grace back into her seat and pushed the plate of food towards her. "I see the little monster has agreed to come back to the table." Bobby joked as he placed a dish in the dishwasher. "I was about to cry when she stormed off after I told her that she couldn't have a cookie until her dinner was finished. I felt like I was dealing with a three year old Jax again." I gave him a smile and took a seat next to Grace while she slowly finished her meal. "What time is Jackie boy picking up you?" Chibs asked behind the magazine. I looked over at the clock that hung on the wall and saw that it was nearing 7. "He's supposed to be here at 7:30 but you know how Jax is." I murmured the last part. "Even if you were to put a clock in front of him, Jax still wouldn't be on time." Bobby and Chibs laughed, nodding their heads in agreement.

I was about to talk again but the thundering sound of Jax's bike stopped me. A smile couldn't help but spread across my face as I heard the bike turn off and I knew that any minute now Jax would be walking through the front door. I tried to keep myself calm, you know just in case he changed his mind about the whole date thing. I really don't know what I would do if that was to happen but I can assure you it wouldn't be good for Jax to do so.

"Hello?" Jax called out as he walked into the house. I literally felt like a teenage girl on that was about to go on her first date with the most popular guy in school. My heart was beating so hard in my chest and my stomach was swarming with butterflies. A couple seconds later, Jax appeared in the kitchen looking better than ever. "Daddy!" Grace rushed down from her seat and ran over to Jax, instantly jumping into his awaiting arms. I slowly got up from my seat and took Grace's empty dish over to Bobby. "Thanks sweetheart." I simply nodded my head and walked over to the duo. "Doesn't mommy look pretty, daddy?" I heard Grace whisper in Jax's ear as he stared me down like I was a vision in white or something. It actually felt nice to be looked at that way by my husband. Tyler looked at me the same way earlier in the day but Tyler wasn't the man I loved with my whole heart and soul. "Ready to go?" I asked. Jax simply nodded his head and gave Grace one last kiss before he placed her back on the floor. "Now Gracelynn, Uncle Bobby and Chibs are in charge of you tonight. You are to behave like a good girl and do everything they tell you to do, okay?" I told her as I crouched down to her level. "I don't want to come back home and here that you were misbehaving and giving them a hard time." She slowly nodded her head. "Okay, well I love you and daddy and I will be home later on." I pulled her little body into my arms and gave her a hug and kiss.

"So, what time should we expect you two lovebirds back?' Bobby asked. I looked over at Jax to see what his answer was since he planned out this whole date but he just shrugged his shoulder. "Well I guess that's my answer." Bobby commented back. I gave him a smile and walked over to Jax, "Ready to go?" I asked taking his hand in mine. He gave me that famous Jax Teller smile, "Absolutely."

**A/N: Sorry I am getting this out so late and i'm also sorry that the ending kind of got boring. However, I don't want you all to think that Kate and Jax's date is going to go smoothly…. Nothing about Jax and Kate's life is smooth sailing. So what did you think about Tyler and Jax being in the same room together? I know I said that Tyler would be undercover and everything but you have to realize that he technically is undercover when it comes to Kate. Since Jax hardly tells Kate anything that has to do with the club and Jax does not want Kate to worry about another thing that has to do with the club. I hope that makes sense and i'm sorry for the confusion. Kate will not know who Tyler really is but she will continue to interact with him. I tried to keep it semi-short because this was just an introduction and it gets a a lot better in the future. He was supposed to grill Jax on the whole Lodi ordeal but his fascination with Kate is going to make things a lot more interesting between the two. I promise the next update will be much better than this one. I was just so busy with school and I kind of got stuck with this chapter. I am out of my funk and I can't wait to get the next chapter out to all you awesome readers! Last but not least, I want to thank all of you that have read, reviewed, and favorited this story; it means a lot to me! **

**Until next time :) **


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